APRIL 28 — Talking to a friend one night, she asked me: "What do you want?" I did not really have an answer and told her I would sleep on it.
The next morning, I woke up, checked my phone notifications, turned over on my side and suddenly the world was spinning on its axis.
Reading about vertigo does not really prepare you for the experience. Your mind knows you are in one place, not moving, but what you're feeling is that you are being spun around and round without stopping and it is terrifying.
The funny thing is that if you've ever been drunk you would know the best thing to do — shut your eyes, take deep breaths and calm yourself, waiting for the dizziness to subside.
That is what I did for a while until I finally managed to push myself upright to a seated position, and sipped on some water.
Life tip: Always have a bottle of water at your bedside because it will come in useful, whether to accompany your meds, ease a dry morning throat or put out a fire because you cannot be trusted with scented candles.
Back to my weird health experience. The spinning had abated but it left me feeling nauseous and incredibly thankful I'd gone to bed on an empty stomach.
I then spent my morning trying not to throw up (a failure), trying not to faint (also a failure, but at least I was already in bed) and one passing thought was: damn I should have written my column on Monday.
BPPV: Not fun
Much later after half-heartedly swallowing two spoonfuls of noodles, I concluded I felt a lot better if I was standing upright and non-strenuously walking on flat ground than sitting down or staring at small text or small screens which induced a headache and my food threatening to leave my body the wrong way.
No matter how horrible I felt at the time I was lucky that I was one, at home, two, not operating heavy machinery and three, have a friend who frequently experienced vertigo and had tweeted some physical exercises to help ease the symptoms.
Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is the common cause of vertigo and after reading up and following the BPPV exercises, my head stopped threatening to explode whenever I lay on one side.
Besides calling in sick, feeling sorry for myself and napping, I did talk to my friend again and I think maybe I do have an inkling about what I'd like to try, that I hadn't yet.
That's the thing about life, isn't it? You think you can procrastinate forever until life comes at you, like a bus with failing brakes.
Perhaps my body was reminding me I am not young anymore or that my high cholesterol levels are a real problem.
In any case, I would suggest anyone above 30 learn at least one of the vertigo coping exercises such as the half-somersault (video below) or the Epley maneuver.
The upside of all this is I have gained clarity about life, the fragility of the human body and the realisation I really need to eat fewer bags of Cheetos.
Here's to hoping my vertigo experience helps some other confused soul in the future because I sure would not wish it on anyone besides the members of our current Cabinet.
*This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
