SEPT 8 — The British Broadcasting Corporation has produced many brilliant television shows but few would argue against the comedy Blackadder being ranked as one of the very best.
The series revolves around the misadventures of one Edmund Blackadder played by a pre-Mr Bean Rowan Atkinson and his bumbling sidekick Baldrick who constantly invents cunning plans that are anything but cunning.
Each of the four Blackadder series is set in different eras. Series one, set in 1485, sees Blackadder accidentally beheading his uncle King Richard and then trying to hide the body.
Series two is set in England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I (1558–1603) and viewers are treated to the shenanigans of the great-grandson of the original Blackadder, also named Edmund Blackadder.
The third series is set in the early 19th century.
This time Edmund Blackadder appears as butler to the Prince of Wales.
The final fourth series takes viewers to the trenches of the First World War where Captain Blackadder and Baldrick try their level best not to die.
There have also been a number of standalone episodes including Blackadder. The Cavalier Years made as a special for the British charity Comic Relief.
In this episode, we see the last two remaining royalists in the land Sir Edmund Blackadder and Baldrick trying to hide King Charles from the wrath of Oliver Cromwell.
They obviously fail which leads to them then trying unsuccessfully to foil the King’s execution. In a last ditch attempt, Baldrick comes up with another cunning plan.
He suggests wrapping a black cloth over the King’s head and putting a pumpkin disguised as the King’s head on top so that only the pumpkin gets chopped off. The plan failed of course.
Poor Baldrick.
He was probably under pressure after Blackadder had just described his brain as “like the four-headed, man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen… It doesn’t exist”.
Sir Tony Robinson, the actor who played Baldrick was recently quoted as saying that there may be a new Blackadder series on the cards.
On the back of those comments, British daily newspaper The Guardian in a late August piece wondered if Blackadder returns, where and when should it be set?
One of The Guardian’s suggestions was that Blackadder and Baldrick could appear in 2016, Washington DC because “in US politics, you always need a cunning plan”.
Reading the news reports on the latest flip-flop when it comes to our national education policy on the English language, I wonder if Blackadder and Baldrick have not been already sitting somewhere inside the Education Ministry in Putrajaya for some years now.
Ministry official: Hello Sir Blackadder and Baldrick. Welcome to Malaysia. You see, we want to find a way to make English seem important but at the same time not important. It is political. We know English is important but at the end of the day our survival is more important.
Baldrick: Ah! Not a problem. I have a cunning plan!
Blackadder: What is it Baldrick? Do not embarrass us in front of our esteemed new friends. Indonesia is an important strategic partner to Mr Cameron.
Baldrick: Malaysia Sir. We are in Malaysia.
Blackadder: Ah yes! Malaysia. Please continue.
Baldrick: We shall come up with a cunning plan to make English a compulsory pass subject in the SPM examinations within three years.
Ministry official: Oh no. We cannot have that. Our vote bank in the rural areas may see us as betrayers of the Malay language. Also, if they are proficient in English over there they may start watching the horrible western propaganda on BBC and realize that freedom of assembly is a God-given right and the treatment of lesbians, homosexuals and transgender people as ordinary human beings is the norm rather than the exception.
Baldrick: Not to worry! This plan is doomed to fail because we shall not bother to provide sufficient competent English teachers. This is not the first time a plan like this has worked. Look what happened to the Teaching and Learning of Science and Mathematics in English (PPSMI). That had to be scrapped too because teachers could not teach well in English.
Blackadder Genius Baldrick. This way we would have to postpone the plan just before it is due to be implemented.
Baldrick: Yes, exactly! And we shall call this the ‘Upholding the Malay Language and Strengthening the Command of English’ plan. Long, confusing and neither here nor there. Always works in politics.
Ministry official: Very good gentlemen. This sounds like a cunning plan indeed. However, what should we do if we are criticized for flip-flopping by those pesky non-governmental organizations that have nothing better to do?
Blackadder Easy! When we postpone the implementation of English as a compulsory pass subject, we shall release a statement in English that explains that this is really for the good of the rural folk who are not yet ready. This way the urban folk get confused and the rural folk won’t understand a word.
Ministry official: I cannot begin to thank you enough Sir Blackadder. I must really introduce you to the leader of our country.
The above hypothetical conversation may seem far-fetched but all signs point to a half hearted attempt by the Government in taking English seriously.
In his 2011 budget speech, the Prime Minister said that RM213 million was being allocated to enhance proficiency in Bahasa Malaysia and strengthen the English language. The Prime Minister also said that the Government will recruit 375 native-speaking English teachers including from the United Kingdom and Australia to further enhance the teaching of English.
“Education is always close to my heart. The Government will not compromise on the quality of education. Our children must be equipped with all the prerequisites to compete in the challenging environment,” said the Prime Minister in the same speech.
Four years have passed and all we have is another change of mind that does nothing but damage the future of those very children the Prime Minister promised to equip.
“The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed..,” said Blackadder once. This putdown probably best describes our shambolic national education policy.
This is an appeal to the government to stop politicising the future of our children. If you have a plan, take it seriously and see it through.
If not, let someone else do the job.
* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.
