PETALING JAYA, April 5 — “When I asked him for permission to share his story, he replied, ‘Mama, you’re not ashamed that people know your son is a former convict?’”

So revealed producer, director and actress Fatimah Rahmad, better known as Erma Fatima, to Berita Harian after posting on Instagram yesterday that her son had just been released from prison after three years.

She said, sharing one of the most painful episodes in her life on Instagram yesterday was not to elicit sympathy, rather to serve as a cautionary tale.

 

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Ini ANAK AKU yg ke 3. Dari umur dia satu hari aku pelihara dia. Aku berikan yg terbaik semampu aku. Sekolah..agama..kasih sayang...meskipun byk kekurangan aku. Berbagai dugaan aku terpaksa lalui untuk besarkn dia. Dan satu hari atas percaturan org tertentu anak aku kembali ke pangkuan ayah kandungnya. Hanya Allah yg tahu betapa hancurnya hati aku ketika itu. Dan Mei 2016 aku mendapat berita dia d tangkap polis dan d penjarakan. Sekali pun aku tak pernah jengok dia di penjara kerana aku kecewa..sedih..hancur hati ini...hanya keluarga lain yg pergi menziarahi dia. Semua d dlm keluarga aku menyangka aku dah buang dia dari hidup aku. Dan hari ini dia keluar dari penjara. Anak2 aku yg lain jemput dia di penjara dan bawak pulang ke rumah.Semua takut aku tk terima dia. Apa pun aku masih ibu dia walaupun aku tidak melahirkannya..walaupun dia tinggalkan aku..hancurkan hati aku TAPI aku tetap ibu dia. Ye ANAK AKU kini bekas seorang BANDUAN. Atas izinnya aku ingin berkongsi pengalaman ini dengan semua. Bila aku minta izin dia tanya aku.."mama tak malu ke bg tahu org anak mama bekas banduan?". Aku cakap aku tak pernah malu memiliki anak yg d kurniakan Allah seperti apa pun dia kerana itulah dugaan paling besar dlm hidup aku yg aku terpaksa tempuh. Aku berkongsi semua ini bukan kerana aku mahukan simpati... aku mahu berkongsi dengan semua anak2 muda d luar sana tentang realiti hidup..aku mahu keluarga yg memiliki anak2 seperti ini juga mendapat sedikit kekuatan dr cerita aku ini. Itu saja..Nanti aku akn cerita lagi kenapa dan mengapa dia masuk penjara. #hadiahisrakmikrajbuatku #anakakubekasbanduan

A post shared by Ermafatima (@ermafatima) on

For Erma, the dark period without her Ahmad Aifin, then 21, after he was sentenced to serve time in May 2016, was aimed at warning youngsters on the harsh realities of life and consequences.

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She and director and scriptwriter Badaruddin bin Haji Azmi married in 1991, and have five foster children from their marriage before the couple divorced in 2017.

“I also want families who are going through the same thing to find strength from my story.”

Her answer to her son if he was a source of embarrassment, was without hesitation.

“I replied that I have never been ashamed of God’s blessing for me in my children, no matter what.”

In the entry, Erma revealed she had been through much in raising her son, and how heartbroken she was when she found out he had been arrested.

She also said she never visited her son in prison because she was to sad to see him, though she always accepted him.

“Family members thought I had disowned him. Today, he left prison. My other children went to pick him up and bring him home.

“All of them were afraid I could not accept him returning. I am still his mother, even if I did not give birth to him. Even though he left and broke my heart, I am still his mother. Yes, my son is a former convict.”