SEPT 17 — My jaw almost dropped.
I was handling an inquiry regarding a Masters’ degree at a recent education fair.
The man, clearly around middle age, asked a lot of questions which I did my best to answer.
After about 10 minutes I asked him what his plans were after obtaining the degree. He then said, "Oh, it isn’t for me, it’s for my son." He then added — and this is the part my chin almost fell to the floor — his son has no say in his own post-graduate education.
I’ll state right now I have no intention of judging the parent and how he’s going about handling his child’s education.
I’ll only state that I was stumped because this is the first case I’ve seen where a Masters degree student is doing something purely because that’s what his dad wants him to.
In my experience it’s very normal for parents, especially Asian parents, to have a LOT of say in what their children study, not least because they’re paying the tuition fees and what-not.
However, parental determination (again) normally only extends up to the Bachelor degree and even then the child’s desires and preferences usually play a huge part.
Many, many parents I’ve spoken to have said this exact line, “What my son or daughter wants to study after his first degree is entirely up to him or her.” And proudly so.
I wonder if cultural expectations play a bigger role than I initially thought. In some families, education is seen as a collective investment, not just an individual pursuit.
The father I spoke to might view his son’s Masters as a way to secure the family’s social or economic status, a perspective rooted in traditions where parental guidance is synonymous with responsibility.
This could explain why he felt justified in making such a significant decision.
It’s not just about control but about fulfilling a perceived duty to steer the next generation towards stability or prestige, even if it means overriding personal choice.
So, anyway, now I’m curious. How much control do parents exert on their children’s education, especially post-graduate courses?
Do students who still rely on their parents’ funding have much say? What is the thinking behind strong parental control (and, of course, more laissez-faire approaches)?
Could it be because the parent doesn’t trust their child to decide their own education and, thus, their own future?
I think this is most likely the reason. I didn’t ask that particular father why he didn’t let his son choose his own Masters’ degree but if I were a betting man that would be my guess.
Or could the child be so indifferent to his future that he told his parent to decide? In that case, I’d imagine a Masters education may not even be the best option.
If someone is so directionless, why would we imagine a post-graduate degree is the best way forward?
Note that I’m very familiar with the "command and control" approach from within a commercial context. Many companies I know who sponsor their people for MBAs or PhDs, because they are heavily invested in their own employees, understandably want the certification or qualification to lead towards strategic directions.
It kinda makes sense for corporations. For families, less so. Or is it?
