PETALING JAYA, Sept 15 — If there’s one thing schoolchildren wished their parents would ask them more of, it is: “How are you?” and not “How did you do in your exam?”

This is what schoolchildren, as young as 11 to 12, told Enrich Counselling and Theraphy Centre community counsellor Yvonne Lee.

“They are under the impression their parents are more concerned about their academic performances than their well being,” she said.

She said young children can read their parents non-verbal expressions when they do not perform to expectations.

“Verbally, parents would tell their children to try their best but children are more affected by their parents’ non verbal expressions that can be recognised by their facial expression, such as disappointments,” she said.

In turn, she said this put children under constant pressure.

“Before examinations, children are unable to sleep, eat well and are faced with constant pressure and during examinations, they tend to go blank and experience high-levels of anxiety,” said Lee.

“They become more concerned about their parents reaction towards their academic performance,” she said.

Post-examination, she said, students who performed below expectations would have low self-esteem.

“Some would feel less useful and a minority have the tendency to think it is the end of the world,” said Lee, adding that a few could even contemplate suicide.

Lee was asked to comment on claims by experts that parents were putting unnecessary pressure on their young children to achieve academic excellence at the price of emotional development and a healthy life.

Child psychologist Professor Dr Eric Lim of Kits for Kids Foundation said there was a rise in the number of cases involving schoolchildren.

“No one dares to put a number on it but it is getting worse,” he said.

From a regional perspective, Dr Lim said children, as young as 12 in Singapore, Korea and Malaysia, were facing the most pressure.

“Some (families) hold on to the sole belief that academic excellence is a precept for future success in life. Socially also, people think that academic achievements spells higher ability and capability,” he said.

Lim said this led children to depression and in some cases, suicide.

He called upon families to have a better way of sharing their concern over their children’s education.