NEW YORK, Dec 31 — “Penny dating” is a new term in the world of dating that’s beginning to emerge on social networks. This tactic, with potentially toxic effects, involves showering someone with attention at the start of a new relationship, then gradually and deliberately reducing your efforts over time, leaving the other person to settle for less. And all without the partner even realising what’s going on.
This strategy is outlined by Erika Tham in a video on TikTok viewed some seven million times. Using the metaphor of the piggy bank, from which the name “penny dating” is derived, she explains: “Imagine a girl is a piggy bank [...]. In order to get her interested, obviously, at first you have to be feeding her hundred dollar bills. But putting in hundred dollar bills is a lot of work, and you don’t always want to be doing that. So eventually, you reduce it to 90. Now, she’s going to feel the decrease in effort, but it’s only 10%, so if she tries to bring it up she’s going to sound crazy at this point. And here’s where it gets sick. The next thing you do is you move it back up to 95. Now, instead of feeling like she lost five [...] suddenly she feels like she’s gained five. But you are still putting in 5% less effort. Basically, you just keep repeating this cycle and weaning her off your effort until you get to the point where you’re giving her pennies, and suddenly she’s excited to receive a nickel.”
@erikatham you learn something new everyday #lovebombing #dating #boymath original sound - erikatham
To better understand this potentially toxic tactic, Professor Bruce Y. Lee has identified various warning signs, which he outlines in one of his articles for Psychology Today. These include a high initial investment, with one partner seeking to win the other over quickly, followed by a reduction in commitment once interest has been shown. “Beware of ‘love bombers’ or those who shower you with gifts too early: Early on, dating should be more about two people getting to know each other rather than one person trying to win over the other,” the expert explains.
Bruce Y. Lee also advises people to be wary when someone takes a step back from your relationship for no apparent reason, and to look for signs of manipulative behaviour. He encourages open communication in relationships to discuss any problems in order to maintain a healthy, balanced relationship. — ETX Studio
