Let’s talk about sex: Communication and other tips for the married Malaysian millennial to have a ‘good’ time

Sexual well-being goes hand in hand with the overall mental, physical and emotional health. — AFP pic
Sexual well-being goes hand in hand with the overall mental, physical and emotional health. — AFP pic

KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 22 – With the abundance of dating and social apps, one may think it is easy to find that special one.

But studies have found that millennials are more lacklustre in the bedroom than previous generations.

These studies also showed that “non-performance” in bed has become more evident among newlywed young couples.

Here are some tips from the recent “Sex Sense for Married Millennials: Intimacy, Family & Health” forum to help young couples keep an active sex life.

The forum was organised by Federation of Reproductive Health Associations Malaysia (FRHAM) and Durex Malaysia.

Good sex is not just a union of the body, but a union of the mind. — Pexels.com pic
Good sex is not just a union of the body, but a union of the mind. — Pexels.com pic

Have ‘good’ sex

According to social psychologist and FRHAM chairperson Dr Kamal Kenny, if there’s anything that married millennials should be entitled to is to have “good” sex.

“Good sex is not just a union of the body, but a union of the mind,” he said.

“It is consensual, and both spouses must enjoy similar sexual pleasures.”

Dr Kamal also stressed that sexual interactions between young couples shouldn’t be mechanical.

“Many feel that sex has to be something statistical, like doing it ‘X’ number of times a week but, that would only impair a good relationship,” he added.

Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Medical Centre consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Prof Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj said that in today’s busy lifestyle, stressors can be a big turnoff for sex but, bear in mind that sex is actually a good de-stressor.

Communication in marriage should be two way with mutual understanding. — Pexels.com pic
Communication in marriage should be two way with mutual understanding. — Pexels.com pic

Communication vs demand

Many couples are reluctant to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances or even when sexual problems arise.

Dr Harlina said communication in a marriage should be more assertive rather than being passive.

“This is because it is important to know what the other person has to say about the relationship and sex,” she said.

“Communication and respect has to be mutual to enjoy a romantic relationship.”

There are still many negative stereotypes against the use of condoms among couples. — Pexels.com pic
There are still many negative stereotypes against the use of condoms among couples. — Pexels.com pic

Oh God, I’m pregnant again!

Sex in a marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities.

This includes deciding when your children should come into your lives.

According to Dr Harlina, some couples don’t take sexual reproductive health guidelines seriously.

“The guidelines are not just about unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, but also involved everything related to ensuring the wellbeing of the child and the couple,” she said.

“There is still stigma surrounding the use of condom among couples.

“Many couples don’t realise that the popular tembak atas perut or the last-minute withdrawal method has a 30 per cent failure rate,” she said.