APRIL 27 — I began tweeting in 2011. Didn’t get the point then (and barely do, now). But tweeting has become a coping mechanism of sorts; nothing like keying in 140 characters to get one’s mind off that 10-mile traffic jam or 10-page office email.
Anyway, I hope the following selections of my tweets (on leadership, movies, media, learning, etc.) over the past half-year make you smile, think, get righteously pissed-off, “inspired”, blahblahblah.
And no, you don’t need permission to follow me on Twitter (or not mine, at least).
Don’t live in the past, tense. Live in the present, perfect.
“With great power comes great responsibility” — why is it never true the other way round?
The ancient Greeks talked about sirens which lured the hearts of men. Now? We just need animated cats doing weird s***.
Comedy is like seduction: Not trying at all may give you better results than trying too hard.
Never judge a book by its cover. Always let the price tag decide.
Ever get the feeling that literary prizes are a conspiracy started by bookshops?
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, blab bout why doing isn’t such a big deal.
The community that tolerates the fewest platitudes wins.
Sometimes, all you want is to hear someone else say it.
My son told me his teacher encouraged him 2 get top in class. I told him to tell the teacher to totally absolutely completely take a hike.
How is God all-powerful? In the way He doesn’t bother to prove it.
Wisdom Porn: Catering to low self-esteem since the dawn of Wi-Fi. A career is not the same thing as existence ~ quote from The Gambler I prefer A******. Asshat doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. You can tell a lot about someone by the jokes he doesn’t laugh at.
We’re not punished FOR our sins, we’re punished BY our sins ~ Nadia Bolz-Weber
Never ask a manager his/her opinion on XYZ methodology. Just ask whether this person has ever worked on it. Period.
Why can’t I buy insurance for insanity?
Has any corporate leader ever said they were pessimistic about the coming year?
Failure always inspires speeches about “reality.”
The problem with corporate “black n white” reports is that they lose the colour of human trauma.
I will never know that I have no need for it until I’ve bought it #consumerism
Don’t try to impress your listeners with how smart you are. Instead, make them feel smart for having listened to you.
Biggest mistake in education: Seeing the schooling years as “job-training.”
Has anyone who’s written, “Noted with thanks” ever felt thankful?
Yes I’m a High D. No, I don’t mind working w High D folks. What I do mind? Working w Non D ppl who act like High D.
Was there email in Jerry Maguire’s time? Because he could’ve totally “recalled” that stupid memo.
Success porn is more damaging than anything you see on YouPorn.
You can scheme, betray, hate and oppress — just do it professionally #corporateworld
That moment when you switch lanes, n the motorcyclist whom u obstructed looks at u as if u insulted his religion n parents in one breath.
When you get there, there is no there #stopwastingyourlife
I have a solution to Manchester Utd’s problems: Giggs has to stop sitting next to Van Gaal.
If you’re a teacher and you DON’T walk around during your classes, you’re either pregnant, paraplegic or on the way out.When we’re falling in love with someone, we are often the last to know ~ William Carpenter Those moments when you wish God would just TELL YOU what to do. Most overrated thing in the corporate world? Confidence.
Facebook should have a Work Status: Empowered, Frustrated, Damaged Goods, etc.
I’d love to sit next to someone who also debated which book to leave in the bag and which to bring along for the flight.
An overpaid employee is the best slave. ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb
That moment when you realise (despite refusing to) that logic, truth and fairness have nothing to do with it #abuseofpower#corpworld
The more the Rock smiles, the less I think of him as a serious actor.
The problem w Asian corporate culture is that it’s “impolite” to call fraud fraud.
I gotta get better at this sarcasm stuff.
Something everybody knows but pretends not to: The informal/unofficial is way WAY more important than the formal/official #corporateworld
Do they want more space for worship services, or are they building an indoor city? Because I can’t tell #megachurches
Real winners never hide between “black and white” #leadership
There should be an emoji for I’m pretending to give a s*** #socialmedia
Earlier in my career I fell asleep during a meeting. I felt sorry then, but now I realise: The speaker should be the one to apologise.
Safety and victory are incompatible ~ the founder of ISIS
RT means it floats my boat.
If I said someone looked uglier in photos, will they detect the compliment? What was Jesus’ super-powers? Forgiving others ~ Sarah Locke Some bosses are so insecure they have to run to other bosses. We need a car signal for I’m thinking of turning here but I simply may not.
“Mummy, who’s that man at the door?” ~ saddest thing a workaholic dad can hear
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive ~ Henry Miller
Corporate tip: Focus less on “bringing in good people” and more on “removing hypocrites and frauds.”
The curse of humanity: That we can be all alone, not hurt anyone, and still feel utterly guilty.
If you must resort to citing your CV? You lose.
A terrible lie is that man is a rational creature. A worse lie is that he should be one. And I thought Bruce Banner had issues #JessicaJones There’s no synonym for “invest” #CapitalismScrewsThesaurus Acid test of leadership: Can you accept it when those you lead RIGHTLY call you an a******? I just ate a vegetarian pizza. That’s moderation to the extreme in my book. Heck, its borderline starvation.
I’m already certain that I’m right and everyone else is wrong. I just want to be more certain #fundamentalism
Nobody eats or drinks during a TED talk. That’s just wrong.
Nothing connects and endears you to people faster than if you speak their dialect #management #leadership
The language teacher’s most powerful advice: “Look it up.”
Outdoors, small and always with the radio on: Ramly Burger.
That moment when you hate receiving notifications and messages from a WhatsApp group but you can’t get yourself to exit...The only thing worse than professional superficiality? Pretending to give a s*** #corporateBS What the mind can conceive and believe, the body can waste its time with.
RT means the world is a lesser place if I didn’t.
* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
