NOVEMBER 12 — This is not fiction. This is just Malaysia.

It is a sheer social sciences goldmine.

To Malaysians, it’s just normal. Surreal is an understatement living in the federation these days. Here’s the score. This is what’s normal in the country these days.

Anwar and his ex-boss

It starts right at the most outlandish which prompted this musing. Anwar Ibrahim purportedly does not want ex-prime minister Mahathir Mohamed to be persecuted by the present administration. 

While the sentiments are heart-wrenching, Anwar the former deputy prime minister is currently in jail because of a rerun of a previous prosecution related to sodomy which originates from his previous boss, no less.

Anwar has to be a bigger man than me, because I won’t be looking so kindly to a man who effectively locked him up for six years and defaulted his chance to be prime minister.

The messianic cult behind the longest-serving prime minister with their rant about how much a man he is, to challenge the near-infallible leaders of today, already make me cringe but to have Mahathir’s biggest victim back him now is nauseating.

But nausea does not ever hold back Mahathir — he has lapped up the new adulation from liberals. Not enough pause to ask why is it that even an ex-prime minister cannot cause enough of a dent into the shield around the prime minister and instead is being investigated. Could it be, that the impregnable nature of any Malaysian prime minister today is Mahathir’s legacy — measures instituted inch by inch after he came within an inch of losing power in 1987 — and now coming back to bite him?

Meanwhile Mahathir’s nemesis of that famous Umno presidency contest is firmly back in the party after a sojourn in the wilderness, but does the occasional photo shoot with his old tormentor-in-chief. 

Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah holds on to a single strategy, one day when things have completely got unstuck he will be the knight in shining armour for the whole country. Till then he will remain in the fringes of his party in an untouchable parliamentary seat waiting for his hour of glory.

The two DPMs of 2015

The home minister and deputy prime minister, Zahid Hamidi, constantly reminds us that both opposition forces and meddlesome factions within Umno are in his investigative sight. His sights might be trained on Muhyiddin Yassin who remains party No. 2 despite being replaced by him in the Cabinet.

To be fair, no one really is sure what Muhyiddin is thinking about.

While he has gnashed his teeth sporadically on why things are quite not fine in the country, he has been muted about his unceremonious dump from the federal government.

Will only a sacking from the party result in him having a genuine reaction?

While Johorean Muhyiddin has been reserved about how he has been treated, his state sovereign has not been as quiet. 

Speaking of inertia, the apparent crusader against PM Najib, Khairuddin Hassan, is still behind bars. Little known before his arrest, and despite his best efforts, he is only moderately more known since. Even arresting his lawyer, Matthias Chang, when he came to visit his cell has not really spurred wild interest. Chang is closely associated with 90-year-old Mahathir.

Hearing incarceration, I am inclined to wander into the 1MDB zone. The state sovereign fund mired in one after another allegation of misappropriation and mismanagement, stays above water-level by possessing a CEO, Arul Kanda Kandasamy, who is ready to debate the pants off all detractors.

How does anyone debate 1MDB? A convoluted series of financial manoeuvres executed in several countries involving a multitude of people over buys and sells and a guessing game involving bottle caps on where is the money actually is going to be defended in a short debate. Rather than not taking the bait, politician after politician in the opposition aisle pick up the gauntlet thrown by Arul. The latest being PKR secretary-general Rafizi Ramli.

PAS by any other name

Elsewhere, the Selangor Mentri Besar, Azmin Ali, maintains his commitment to work with both PAS and DAP, despite their open hostilities. His party, where he is deputy president, says one thing, and he reliant on the support of PAS to have a healthy majority says another.

While Azmin counts on PAS to stay in power, the president of the party has been suggesting lately that the true purpose of the party is not to win national power, but to advise the government of the day to become far more conservative in values. Overnight, PAS has morphed into a pressure group not political party.

To add more spice, the latest off-shoot from PAS, Amanah, has not really shaped its message — whose theological spine is splendid — but has indicated a willingness to work with PAS in the larger opposition fold.

Therefore the permutations increase and depending on the weather forecast PAS can be both inside Pakatan and outside it.

Elsewhere, the Sarawak chief minister with his state elections fast approaching lambasts the federal government for not fitting the true nature of the multi-ethnic state. The populism is putrid to neutral observers and the federal government does not mind one bit being the daily piñata. Anti-federalism sentiments are vote-winners and they are milking it. It rarely dawns that while the Sarawak Barisan Nasional (BN) is determined to show autonomy, them winning will cement the success of the very federal government with their overbearing tone to the needs of the Sarawak people.

Just so they do not fail to make headlines after a spell in the bench for team “madness”, Biro Tatanegara (BTN or National Civics Bureau) has come up with a fairly original defence of accusations they spew hate through unveiling of their presentation slides, presumably as the name suggests used for presentations.

Nay, say BTN. These found documents are merely research material. While it is a baffling explanation, they might want to access the Mein Kampf or The Protocols of the Elders of Zion if they want real research into how to be a proper racist bully.

Commercial enterprises like Vape slash e-cigarette slash the coal-free shisha doesn’t find its way into this column, but the furore over the confiscation of vape juice related to the use of medical grade nicotine has increased its appeal. So far there are two unique outcomes from the clampdown; contrary opinions in the corridors of power, the domestic trade ministry pooh-poohing the health ministry’s raids, and upping the ante on saying this is another attack on bumiputera businesses.

When an issue is reduced to ethnicity, then it has been Malaysianised.

No way out

Which is why the country is wrapped up by warp developments rather than the promise of warp speed for economic growth and prosperity.

Stalemates and stagnations are not the hallmarks of a forward moving system.

How does the regular person cope with the dribble, the inconsequential drone of the uninspired? By checking-out.

While it is amusing for external observers, with bets going on what will be the next amazing development in Malaysia, it is an unwanted burden to citizens. As more and more remove themselves from the system there appears to be less and less ideas on how we can collectively leave the rut.  

Stranger than fiction has never sounded more true.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.