JUNE 3 ― Idioms. That strange, witty way of saying something and meaning another. Delightful, fun, entertaining, but sometimes exasperating, confusing, silly.
If you’ve been grappling with English idioms though, this is your lucky week: Tourism Minister Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz has shown us a new way to quickly make sense of any English idiom.
“Just like the English saying, 'We are just a chip off the old block'. This means we cannot be better than our fathers,” he told news portal Malaysiakini yesterday.
The minister was explaining why the prime minister shouldn’t be upset over criticism that he is not as great as his father, the second prime minister, was.
It may seem confusing, this new approach. We used to think “being a chip off the old block” means to resemble your father or mother, either in looks or behaviour or both.
But it makes sense, really. And the minister’s logic works in a rounder-than-roundabout way.
Take a red brick and chip a little piece off ― that little piece is going to be much smaller. It can’t be bigger than the original brick, nor can it perform the same function. You can use the brick to build a wall, but a small chipped piece? No way.
And therein lies the genius at work for what must be a groundbreaking innovation as far as idiomatical expression and interpretation goes.
In celebration of this language breakthrough I submit below five other English idioms that deserve a rethink in light of this new approach:
1. The early bird gets the worm
Traditional: We hear this a lot. It normally means if you want to get a six-figure salary and drive a Bentley, wake up early and get to work if you’re not a Brunei royal. We hear our school teachers say this approximately 573 times over six years in primary school, according to an unscientific estimate I made up while typing this sentence.
Alternative: So the early bird gets the worm, but is that a good thing? Worms are gross and taste horrible (I imagine, not having firsthand experience with their culinary qualities).
So the lesson here is don’t be too early in anything. Let someone be the pioneer, let them make all the mistakes, then you can swoop in and do things right straight off. Join the herd.
2. Actions speak louder than words
Traditional: People say this when they want to express that talk is cheap. When they’re telling you that hey, if you really mean what you say, put it into action. Give that homeless person some nasi lemak instead of just talking about how sorry you feel for him.
Alternative: The overriding message here really is to be prepared. If action speaks louder than words and all you have is words, bring a loudspeaker to the debate.
So the lesson here is to scope out what you’re up against and get the right equipment before you do anything. Not having an idiom dictionary nearby when using idioms to illustrate your point while speaking on record to a journalist is like whipping out the sword at a gunfight after forgetting your shotgun.
3. Through thick and thin
Traditional: This was probably inspired by the thought of walking through thickets and thin woodlands. If you say you’re with someone through thick or thin, you’re really saying you’ll be with that person both in good times and when Ah Longs come splashing red paint on their car.
Alternative: The real message is quite simple ― true love. We know true love goes beyond the physical. A sexy body or breath-taking beauty doesn’t last but the person, the personality and the heart is lasts until the cardiogram goes flat.
Telling your partner you’ll be with him or her through thick and thin means you’re committing yourself to the relationship regardless of body shape changes, weight increases or Birkin-hoarding proclivity. After all marriage is a lifelong commitment to being overweight for most men, especially if the wife enjoys cooking.
4. Put your money where your mouth is
Traditional: The common interpretation of this idiom used to be somewhat similar to the traditional meaning of entry 2 above. If you say you support a cause or believe in something, take action. Do volunteer work or donate to charity.
Alternative: All these years we have probably missed the point that this is a straightforward investment advice. Not the aunties and grandmas who took a liking to having gold teeth, however. You can always spot them around the wet market.
Can there be safer way to save your assets than to put them in a single-entry orifice with hack-proof sealing system and round-the-clock two-eyed surveillance? Being able to show them off easily yet subtly by exaggerating your pronunciation is a plus point.
5. Under the weather
Traditional: The traditional meaning when we say someone is under the weather is that the person is not feeling very well. Think runny nose or fever or just that general feeling of being out of sorts. Though strangely we don’t say we’re above the weather when we feel fine.
Alternative: What this saying may really mean is somewhat simpler. If you’re under the weather, obviously you’re exposed to the elements. Hence the meaning is simply that you forgot to bring an umbrella.
Getting soaked under the rain or sweating rivers down your back under the sun? You’re under the weather for sure. Can’t say you’re under an umbrella since you didn’t bring one, now.
Simple yet effective, right? Now all we need to do is turn Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri’s imaginative innovation prowess to Malaysia’s other problems...
*This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
