OCTOBER 28 ― I suck. I’m over-rated. I’m overpaid and over-promoted. I’m not half as good as people think I am. And people will realise this any day now before they throw me out the door.
Do these thoughts sound familiar to you? If the word yes flashed through your mind, you’re not alone. You and I and countless others feel this way about ourselves from time to time.
That we’re in over our heads. That we don’t really know what we’re doing. That we can’t possibly meet expectations placed on us because the last time was a lucky break. That there are so many reasons we might, at any time, be exposed as being less competent than we make ourselves out to be, than people think we really are.
Here’s a newsflash: It’s all in our minds. The feeling is real, yes, but our feelings do not always mirror the reality of who we are and what we can do. And it is a completely natural feeling to have.
Researchers call it the impostor syndrome. It’s a common thing, too. A study in the 1980s by researchers Pauline Rose Clance and Gail Matthews found that 70 per cent of successful people have felt this way at some point in their lives.
In essence, people who feel this way have trouble believing that they are as competent as their past work indicates them to be. They don’t internalise any sense of accomplishment, waving past performance away to luck, coincidence or any number of factors but simple personal capability.
It’s why you and I, we don’t feel that competent even as people tell us otherwise. If anything you probably feel like you’re nothing special, wondering from time to time why exactly you’re paid money to be, to your mind, a hack.
And so when the next task or deadline comes around, we start feeling anxious and a little scared. We know how to do it, but we worry whether we can do it well enough. Self-doubt starts creeping in.
Because our minds ask questions that poke hard at the nerves: What if my work this time isn’t good enough? What if it falls short and they see my true incompetence? What if I was never good enough to be here and this time they realise it?
Then we set really, really high standards for the work because otherwise we feel like we risk being found out. Perfectionism latches on. The insecurity we feel drives our desire to excel at all times, with “excellence” defined by the threshold that we believe would make us look competent.
And then these thresholds, which eventually prove absurdly high in the first place, prove really, really difficult for us to meet ― we either end up falling short of our own expectations or, paralysed by procrastination, fail at the task altogether.
It can be a vicious cycle. We’re scared of failing, of being exposed, and so we work hard to keep up what we think is the facade of competence. But when we succeed in convincing others that we are that competent after all, we don’t believe it ourselves and that reinforces the impostor feeling.
Don’t fall into that trap. It’s a good thing to continuously push yourself to greater heights, wanting to do better and achieve more, but this is not it. This is a simply self-destructive trail that eventually leaves you exhausted and burnt out.
If you feel this way today, remember that time when you’ve submitted what feels like an average or sub-par work only to be told it’s okay, even good?
Maybe at the time you felt relief ― safe from being found out for a little longer ― mixed with wonder. Maybe you’ll wonder how that was okay since you certainly feel like you can do much better.
Did I trick them again, your mind will say. Did I accidentally hit that threshold of excellence through my bumbling? Did I get lucky again?
The answer to all of the above is no. That was what happened when your work was just good enough for what was required. And that’s okay.
Contrary to what our brain (and maybe ego) tells us, we are not required to be in a constant state of shining brilliance, bursting with wondrous ideas that inspire awe and admiration.
Instead, what we would better off focusing on is being in a constant state of learning – how to improve, how to get better. You and I aren’t perfect, but that’s okay. We can get better. We will.
Along the way we may not always bedazzle with superb brilliance shining forth from our work, but remember that’s rarely the requirement. Good enough is, most of the time, good enough.
So the next time you feel this nagging fear that you’re not good enough to do something, remember your feelings aren’t always a realistic reflection of what you are. Sometimes it’s best, when in doubt, to just go ahead and do whatever you need to do.
And let someone else decide if it’s good enough.
*This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
