KUALA LUMPUR, Dec 23 — There are numerous non-governmental organisations (NGO) advocating various programmes on women’s empowerment.
In fact, there is also a ministry dedicated to women, family and community development in Malaysia.
However, there are seemingly much fewer to no gender-specific initiatives dedicated to men or fathers.
Recognising the gap, business advisor Jason Leong decided to start a movement to nurture more involved, committed and responsible fathers in Malaysia.
The whole idea came to Leong’s mind after a shattering personal realisation and regret: not spending enough time with his children.
Just like many working fathers and mothers, Leong was extremely busy running his advisory firm and servicing his clients all day long for many years to provide a comfortable life for his family.
“I was giving my best and the clients were seeing me at my best.
“But when I returned home, I was totally exhausted and my family had to see me at my worst.”
Leong said that stirred up his relationship between his wife and two children.
“I suddenly realised that I wasn’t fathering my children.”
He tried to read more personal development books and came across one called The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers by Ken Canfield which taught him the important aspects of fathering.
Leong then decided to not only improve his fathering habits but also educate as many fathers in Malaysia who are too engaged with work that neglect their fathering duty.
In 2019, he set up a non-profit organisation called Better Dads Malaysia to initiate, lead and coordinate a national movement for fathers in Malaysia.
For him, the vision was to make sure every child in Malaysia grows up with an involved, committed and responsible dad.
To do so, the 57-year-old father said the organisation started conducting a specially-tailored one-day fathering workshop in 2019 to educate dads and dads-to-be about various aspects of fathering.
“We have seen many men having issues with their fathers.
“Some of them are really bitter and angry about their fathers. But, if they don’t talk about it, they might carry that and repeat the same behaviour in a vicious cycle.”
Leong said that’s where the counsellors conducting the course will educate the participants on how to reconcile and do corrective measures.
“A bad habit cannot be eradicated unless a good habit replaces it.”
The organisation works closely with the National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN) as well as Women, Family and Community Development Ministry to roll out the programme to various groups in Malaysia.
Better Dads Malaysia currently runs three programmes namely; I Can fathering workshop, parent-child bonding activities and a shared parenting course.
Leong said they are quite flexible and the programmes are usually held at LPPKN, private venues or corporate function spaces.
“Next year, we are targeting more corporates as it will be beneficial to their male employees who may want to improve their fathering skills.
“We can also customise the programmes to focus on various topics such as mental and emotional health depending on our audience, their needs and wants.”
Leong also hinted that there will be a new programme tailored for grandparenting that will be spearheaded by the organisation’s event facilitator and counsellor See Toh Puk Lim.
Lim joined Better Dads Malaysia just before its official launch in November 2019 to contribute to men’s mental health and effective fathering programmes with his counselling background.
He will also be spearheading the I Can corporate training.
Leong said the I Can workshop — which stands for involvement, consistency, awareness and nurturance — was designed based on the research by Canfield.
The programme includes an interactive workshop conducted over two sessions that highlights the importance of fathering involvement and viral skills for building lasting relationships with their children.
“One of the questions we ask our participants during each workshop is to share the most memorable moment they had with their dad.”
Leong said, surprisingly, he often hears interesting stories that are about the participants’ moments well spent with their fathers.
“Nobody talks about when their fathers bought them an iPhone or treated them to something luxurious.
“It’s always about special moments and being present.”
The I Can workshop is conducted in English, Malay and Mandarin depending on the demographic.
Each session is limited to a maximum of 25-30 pax and it’s priced at RM350 for each individual.
A meal and tea session will be provided as part of the package.
Surf over here to learn more about Better Dads Malaysia and their programmes.
