NOVEMBER 29 — Since the time I wrote about the cartoonish nightmare of switching telcos, how have things been in my telecommunications experience?

Simply put, terrible.

I wouldn't want to go back to DiGi as their coverage has pretty much suffered since the merger (in my experience) and being a decades-long customer didn't confer many benefits, just annoyance.

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If it were possible I'd move to Yoodo, a fuss-free, no-frills prepaid experience but the excellent service is in the process of being sold off and there's no telling if the MVNO would survive or be shut down.

Am beginning to wonder if Maxis relies on satellite service because I have found that both my mobile network and my broadband slow down to a crawl when it rains.

It's irksome because I was excited to have 5G coverage but the minimum acceptable speed for 5G in Malaysia is supposed to be around 100Mbps and I get maybe a tenth of that.

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Customer (and customer service) from hell

My internet, both mobile and broadband, had been terrible and I thought that at least I could complain about them both to the same people as they shared a provider.

Silly me.

I am pretty sure 5G minimum acceptable speed in Malaysia is 100Mbps but am not sure our telcos got the memo. — Screenshot by Erna Mahyuni
I am pretty sure 5G minimum acceptable speed in Malaysia is 100Mbps but am not sure our telcos got the memo. — Screenshot by Erna Mahyuni

I got two separate phone calls from the two different divisions though one technical person was so out of depth I was exasperated to near-tears though I think the feeling was mutual.

Imagine being asked, when I said my 5G was slower than the Gaza ceasefire agreement, “Are you connected to the Wi-Fi?”

At that very moment I imagine, my blood pressure was forming a tiny aneurysm in my brain.

It was bad enough that I was of course asked the inane, scripted questions that unfortunately drive me mad: “Have you tried rebooting your router/taking out your SIM card and restarting your phone?”

Why, of course, I don't do those things first when my internet doesn't work, because I absolutely love being asked those questions first thing!

I also had to explain that I was using, not the Maxis Wi-Fi router (which is frankly so awful that even my cat shared my disdain and peed on it) but my own very fancy Asus router.

When I looked online for a better router, I didn't get the best one, which cost a kidney, but I got a rather good one that cost only half a kidney and, most importantly, was also on sale.

I felt slighted on my router's behalf when the tech person asked if I could instead use the Maxis router.

Why, dear technician, when I've done tech long enough to know that it is as effective at piercing my walls with a Wi-Fi signal as a toothpick?

The first unofficial rule when getting a broadband connection in Malaysia is to immediately get a new broadband router because the ones given to you for free are nearly always as useful as all the extra human baggage on politicians' overseas trips (which is not at all).

After I complained to the second technician (I am so sorry) about the terrible experience with the first technician (I am also sorry) miraculously half an hour later my internet speed was back to three digits as was my 5G.

Though no one told the hapless support person on twitter who kept DM-ing me even after I told them to just leave me alone, please, because I know the problem is on your end and not mine.

In my defence, my internet issues happened just around when my shift started and it is hard to remain composed when loading a webpage was as excruciating as reading a former prime minister's tweets (or X posts, whatever they call them).

Having to apologise to my shift leader that my work would be affected, while explaining to the tech people yes, I have rebooted the router, no my cables and devices are all working fine thanks was very stressful.

In the end, I did send in a service report to MCMC, after that less-than-invigorating experience, which ended up resolving itself after I threw a semi-tantrum.

Is your telco also making you question your life decisions? MCMC now makes you first try and resolve things with them but if they do not fix your problems, then you take your grievances (along with a lot of screenshots) to the form, which you can find here.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.