DECEMBER 7 — A few days ago, someone shared a photo of a sign outside KFC. It was in English, but it sounded like hilariously Google Translated English.
How else could you explain sentences such as “We are deeply apologise for any inconvenience cause” and “dear our valued customer”? Of course it made the social media rounds and I made the mistake of Tweeting it.
It wasn't long before I had a Westerner saying I was harming the poor person who wrote it who could possibly lose his job.
Obviously said Westerner doesn't understand how Malaysia works. Our politicians for instance can screw up publicly and not be made to resign, so poor usage of English is unlikely to get anyone fired. Heck, it doesn't even get English teachers fired in Malaysia apparently.
Then there were the accusations of my being classist and even better, I was called “white” and told to go buy my cheap chicken elsewhere. I'll have you know that I don't even eat KFC: Texas Chicken is better, you can fight me on that.
Here's the thing: English is a mandatory subject. Our kids get 11 years worth of English tutelage. It is technically a second language.
Yet there is this expat going around saying that we shouldn't even bother having grammar standards as English is a foreign language and not a second language here.
Should we just give up on pointing out grammatical errors? Should decent spelling and usage be confined only to books and the media? Would we be better off just not having standards?
I will likely be called elitist but yes, I think we should have standards. Why bother teaching English and making it mandatory otherwise? Why not make it elective, an optional subject?
There was even one Twitter follower who was telling me we shouldn't be so hard on people who try, that language learning isn't easy for everyone, that I should cut people more slack.
If 11 years isn't enough to teach the most basic bits of grammar ― subject verb agreement, tenses and plurals, I don't know what is.
I wonder why I should even bother advocating some standards when really, isn't that endangering my job security? Shouldn't I revel in general mediocrity as it would assure that I won't have any real competition?
The thing is I do care. Maybe a bit too much. I don't expect our youngsters to speak perfect, received pronunciation English. But why are they so bad at it when every child who can go to a public school is given (almost) free tutelage in the subject?
How can 11 years of English not be enough for our kids to not write embarrassing signs?
So Malaysians, make up your minds. Either embrace English's status as a second language or reject it altogether, leaving it only to the rich people's children who will need it when they go to some fancy college.
I also reserve the right to insult signs. Signs aren't people; they're not going to sue me and they don't have feelings I can hurt. But if you insist on being hurt by proxy because someone critiqued bad language, maybe the real problem is you.
In the meantime, I will continue to insult road signs, menus, posters and other inanimate objects marred by poor English. It is my right to care even if other people don't or won't. So you can go hug a badly written sign in solidarity if you disagree.
* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
