OCTOBER 11 — I’ve stopped going to parent-teacher meetings. Key reasons: I’m tired on weekends, there’s usually a long wait, the canteen coffee sucks, I’ve got other plans, etc.
But the #1 reason I don’t go is because I’m psychic. I know, like night follows day, that the conversation will be the same every time: Your kid is top in class? Good job and keep it up. Your kid is a total idiot? Must try harder.
Yes, must try harder and harder and harder. I, and countless other parents, must have heard this phrase a zillion times.
For once, I’d like to hear a teacher say, “Mr Lau, your daughter’s got a way with deception and shortcuts and she’s bold as hell — you should get her to join a spy agency.”
Or, “Madam, I think your son is an absolute failure at Science but he has the potential to be the youngest person to conquer Everest.”
Or, “Sir, your children are whiz kids who will make RM10 million over the next two years through crypto-currency deals but they will never ever pass History. Deal with it.”
Something like that. Anything but “must try harder.”
Don’t try harder – just move on
A child who scores 51 per cent in Maths can “try harder” for a million semesters and chances are — unless his teacher is smokin’ something even rock stars would find objectionable – he’ll make it to 60 per cent. At best.
Due to “must try harder”, our kids are made to slog and slog in order to attain what’s no more than marginal improvement.
While scoring a few points is not a bad thing in itself, the problem with the whole exercise is that nothing very much changes. The student is never going to excel in that subject if he doesn’t have a knack or passion for it or if his intelligence is wired for something else.
His self-esteem isn’t going to soar a few extra points (see Note 1) and given the way our education system rolls, s/he will forget everything he studied the moment he steps out of the exam hall anyway.
This is true for “top” students in a given subject, what more students who are told a billion times to “try harder and harder and harder” each time.
If I was the teacher I’d say, “Look bro, QUIT ‘trying harder.’ In fact, heck, stop giving two rabbits’ shit about Maths and simply ensure you score exactly 40 per cent (and not a point more).
“Save those seven hours you’d normally (hate to) spend trying to up your marks to 61 per cent and use them to watch Walking Dead, or play Mobile Legends or, better yet, focus on those subjects that’ll make you GOAT.”
Okay, you suck at Maths — are you good in Science? Go rip the heart out of the Chemistry paper and feed it to the other students.
Not good at Science? How about Languages? No skill with academic subjects? Are you good at Art or, heck, PE? Awesome. Go be the next Usain Bolt or Jackson Pollock. Don’t know who the second guy is? Won’t kill you to Google him.
Whatever it is, do NOT let your teacher or your parents or any authority figure tell you that you “must try harder” on something which will only leave you stressed or for goals which don’t make sense.
Hitting a Pass is, of course, necessary. There’s a substantial difference between, say, getting a Bachelor’s degree and not getting it.
But who gives two curry puffs about whether it’s 3rd Class or 2nd Lower, especially if bridging that gap is going to take the student one step closer to a mental breakdown?
If you know you can’t play the academic game very well, but your folks already paid for your education, then don’t murder your mind: Do enough to get the basic degree, go educate yourself in something you love (and do so informally, which is the way to get educated anyway), quickly get a job and buy your parents a buffet dinner at the Sheraton as a big Thank You.
Bottom Line: We’ve got to tell our kids to stop running the academic rat race if it doesn’t work for them.
* Note 1: If a student “tries harder” and, as a result, jumps from 54 per cent to 85 per cent (in whatever subject) and continues to excel on a regular basis, that’s brilliant and congrats to him/her. It’s also, alas, rarer than a blue tiger. In such cases, I’m convinced that it’s because the student did not “try harder” at all but, instead, hacked his subject.
** This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
