MAY 7 — I was watching Mary Queen of Scots a few weeks back and have never felt inspired with the struggles that both women, Mary Stuart and Queen Elizabeth (the First) had to face. During the era of their time, sons were favoured more than daughters and of course, men dominated everything since the early days from advising the rulers (Kings) of how to run the country right up to policy making and economy.
Hundreds of years later, even with so much changes in place with the education and technology, women struggle in certain areas are still visible.
Women have come a long way.
Over the years, women all over the world have fought for opportunities to work, study, vote and even run in a marathon. Even to this day, women are still ‘fighting’ to get better pay for the same amount of work men are doing, better valuation for their start-ups and even access to funding to kickstart their businesses. While men just need to demonstrate HOW their ideas works, women have to justify WHY their idea would work.
The perception that women may not be able to focus on business growth due to being emotionally driven most of the time and the priorities shift to nurture the family probably explains the reason why women-owned businesses hardly get the attention that they deserve.
It has been reported by Crunchbase in 2019, a leading International online business media platform that there were only 10 per cent of venture capitalists investing in women-owned businesses in 2009 and the number only doubled in 2019 (total 20 per cent), and that took 10 years to achieve.
The struggle to be the woman that I am
Growing up in a household where most of us were girls, my late father secretly yearned for a son. Being his firstborn, I was able to consistently prove to him that I am as good as a boy. I excelled in my studies, became school prefect for a number of years, became one of the top students, took up sports, was active in school activities, got my articles published on local papers (I had great passion for writing back then) to make him feel ‘proud’. While I would like to believe that he did in his own way, he hardly said anything and there was not even a pat on the back.
Indeed, after his third marriage, he got the son that he always wanted — my beloved brother, the only male offspring. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother and although the age gap is obvious I am proud of the young man he has become today.
But deep down there is an unrequited yearn for a father that acknowledged my very existence and accomplishments. I know he loved his daughters but it’s just not the same.
Proving my ‘worth
Years back when I was still in the corporate sector, there was an episode that I can never forget, where I had the opportunity to set up stores within stores and I had no idea how it worked.
Naturally, I had to turn to my experienced male colleagues whom I later learnt were not agreeable with the new role given to me. To them, the role had always been theirs and the idea of sharing commission derived from the stores with another person that happened to be a female wasn’t favourable. Imagine getting the “Sorry, I am busy today, I can’t help you” messages each time you ask for a tiny fraction of their time to teach you.
In super speed mode, I had to learn everything from scratch, went to the sites during set up, worked with the contractors, spent time to understand the operational processes with the departments we usually dealt with, at the same time running team recruitments, training but eventually I made it. The fact that the three stores and teams that I set up made good sales ‘earned’ me a place in the boys club. Even before I left the company, I was tasked to search and set up two branches in East Malaysia. Years later, they are still there until today.
I failed as a mother
When I settled down, had my daughter, I failed to become the mother she deserves. I was too occupied with work while she was looked after by the babysitter and then by her grandparents. The wakeup call came when she scored badly in her primary two exam (blame it on my in-laws’ constant nagging at her study “performance” and stress at work) that I scolded her so harshly one evening. With tears streaming down her cheeks, hardly gasping for air to speak, she begged for a chance to prove herself to be better.
When she said that word “Mummy, please give me a chance…”, I was shattered to pieces because it’s exactly how I felt when I yearned for my father’s attention.
Eventually, I decided to quit and make up for the time I should have been with her and started to venture in my quest as an entrepreneur. Being someone who is always exploring and working, I realised that I cannot just be a stay-at-home mother. And that’s when I discovered that there isn’t a specific site for women (mothers!) to look for jobs that they can do while they are on a career transition, and that’s how I got started on the entrepreneurship journey.
I have not made it successfully as an entrepreneur – yet.
With a small budget of RM1,500.00 and a vague idea of what an entrepreneur’s life would be, with no mentors whatsoever, I went ahead and created a site for women looking for jobs. And then it evolved to include events and learning. Organising events over the years has exposed me to meeting a lot of inspiring women whom I later made great friends with. Some of them went on to be very successful in their ventures but not without challenges and struggles.
I observed and listened to their stories during our many sharing and get together sessions and I can relate to the pain they had to go through. It was hard (and draining) running the show alone, although I was able to do it — thanks to my multitasking experience gained over the years in the corporate, but it was not easy without a proper team. So abandoning the site in search of something viable was the way to go for me at the time.
An unforgettable incident at a certain co-working space where I was supposed to attend a meeting and I couldn’t bring my daughter into the meeting due to their no child policy sealed the fate with me setting up a women coworking & event space, Hanawomen at QSentral. It was also a timely decision as I needed a space to run activities and I saved so much than paying an arm and a leg just to run half-day events. And I had the liberty to offer the space (cheaper rate than most places within the same location) to any fellow women entrepreneurs that are just starting up too.
And then within a year, Hanafundme.com came along, a women crowdfunding platform where women start-ups and businesses can raise funds for their new and existing ventures without having to give up equity and paying loans. We offer free reviews of campaigns and consultation.
While running the hub and crowdfunding platform, I embarked on a passion book project last year in September to compile stories of inspiring women who change the world. It was a project that came out of a desire to see more women from Asia be featured in the book as there are so many books featuring achievements of those from overseas. And from that project, it has escalated to coming up with educational card game that not only educates women/girls but is entertaining at the same time.
When I sit back and reflect, I realised that I never stopped marching forward. Throughout my life journey, I fell many times. And I think I crawled longer than I stood. There will always be something to climb over, to get around.
But why did I keep going?
I asked myself this many times before I went to bed — almost every night. It keeps me on my feet and helps me reflect on my day whenever I have an internal meltdown. Perhaps it was not just about getting my father to acknowledge my accomplishments all these while but also the desire to prove to myself and meet my own expectation to be the best version of a daughter, a mother, a wife and a woman that I can be. To be able to do my part and give my best to others while I am still alive and well, as I believe that when we give, we give hope to others to keep believing that they are not alone.
The thought of leaving the world someday and successfully accomplish at least more than half of my purpose and calling gives me peace.
The journey as an entrepreneur varies from one person to another. We all have a purpose to discover and to serve. It is not a race to see who gets to the top first. We all learn and absorb knowledge and experiences differently. The definition and meaning of success is not the same for everyone.
Mother’s Day is for all women?
As Mother’s Day approaches, I witness a plethora of advertisements to reward mothers’ sacrifices for their family. Why? Because they clean, they cook, they wash and they give birth. And this is what society expect of mothers. They forget that mothers are women who have choices and their sacrifices are way beyond just cleaning, cooking, washing and giving birth.
I understand that any dedicated day to celebrate something, from Valentine’s Day to Mother’s Day, makes a great opportunity for businesses to sell and promote their offers. And we forget that we don’t have to succumb to the pressure of celebrating people that we care for just because a bouquet of roses or 5-star hotel meal offers are shoved in front of us.
Women are “mothers” instinctively. They are nurturing in their own way. Even women who choose to be single or women who choose not to have children after marriage. Having a child is a lifelong commitment, they are our responsibility. I know women who are ‘mothers’ to their younger siblings, to their nieces and nephews and even pets. Women just know when to take care of others than themselves, in their own way. I was a “mother” to my younger siblings when my parents split up and when my mother had to work outstation in those days.
Why am I sharing this?
I wish everyone can see that a woman’s worth is more than just being a wife and a mother at home. They can be your strongest backbone that share your dream and burden.
I wish for everyone to stop assuming that all power women that sit on corporate boards earned their way easily to sit up there. One has no idea how they too have to play the game to prove their worth. Deep down, they are just as vulnerable and needed the support from the ecosystem around them to keep them going.
I wish for every investor sees the potential of women owned/founded businesses and explore to grow the ventures with them without having women justify if their businesses would work. Instead, ask them how can we make this work if we work together?
I wish for our Government to bring in more capable women leaders to lead to bring the check and balance in the society. After all, there are equal number of women population versus men in the country now. Having women leaders’ input to build the society is essential.
Empowering women to empower others
Women empowerment is not just about breaking the glass ceiling and being on par with men leading the company or a nation. Women and men leadership styles are different. And we should celebrate these differences. Instead of being on par, why not complement each other?
Women should empower themselves first before they empower others. It starts with one’s inner self. If you are strong and determined in the inside, what could possibly stop you from moving ahead?
And with all this sharing, I just hope that my late father would be proud of me when he ‘reads’ this. I just want him to know that as his firstborn, and although I may not be a boy, I still can be the best version of myself as a mother, a wife, a woman and a person that serves her purpose in the society.
*Angie S. Chin is the CEO & Co-Founder of Hanafundme.com, a Women Crowdfunding Platform that helps women to kick start their ventures and missions based in Kuala Lumpur. You may get in touch with her at [email protected].
**This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
