KUALA LUMPUR, May 10 — When Malaysia went into lockdown from March 18 with all non-essential businesses, including childcare centres and kindergartens, ordered to close, single parents were the most hard hit.

Malay Mail spoke to four single working mothers in the Klang Valley about how things were for them during the movement control order (MCO).

Despite their own personal challenges, these four women continued paying for their children’s daycare and school fees during the lockdown even either no or partial services offered.

Here are their experiences:

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1. Sonia*

Sonia, 39, is a doctor who has been working as a frontliner in a hospital here for a large part of the lockdown; she is lucky to have a babysitter care for her toddler when she is out working.

Still, there was an incident at a supermarket they had visited previously during the lockdown period without problems.

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Along with her child (both wearing face masks), she was denied entry into the supermarket by a security guard, prompting her to explain that she could not leave her young child alone at the supermarket entrance.

“I didn’t care because I knew there was no other way out... not to mention stares and weird looks from people. We both were wearing masks, it was just a quick dash in and out,” she said, noting that she was out in under 10 minutes after paying for the two food items required.

At the time of the incident, the government had yet to relax rules where only one person from each family was allowed to go out to buy food and daily necessities.

Sonia highlighted the need for flexibility depending on the circumstances: “Because as it is, you are one person and you have so many restrictions and people don’t seem to get it... that special circumstances are all around us... it’s good to be rigid but then again, there are times it doesn’t apply to everyone.”

Just like other parents, one of the biggest challenges for Sonia is her child’s frustration at being cooped up inside all the time... not being able to go out to play or see her friends in kindergarten.

2. Angela*

Angela, 30, who cares for her two-year-old daughter alone (her parents and in-laws do not live in the Klang Valley) had a similar experience where a grocery store manager refused entry to her and her child during the MCO.

“I said I’m a single mum, I don’t have anyone to take care of my child, I can’t leave her home alone. She just did not listen, said only one person allowed to buy groceries so I cannot bring my kid.

“The store manager said I’m here, you can leave her here. How can I trust a stranger to take care of a two-year-old toddler? I caused quite a scene. 

“They eventually allowed me in but it was quite embarrassing, like people were judging us, as if I endangered my daughter’s life,” Angela said, but added that subsequent visits have been pleasant after she wrote to the store which responded to her immediately.

With her child’s daycare centre closed during the MCO, Angela said it has been challenging to work from home and attend virtual meetings while tending to her child’s needs.

“It’s impossible for me to even find time to cook. It’s impossible to save on food expenses while working and taking care of a child alone. 

“Expenses on Grab (food delivery) are very, very costly… we definitely can’t meet the minimum spend to get the discount,” she said, noting that sometimes she tries to meet the minimum spend required for discounts by ordering for lunch and dinner in one delivery.

Angela said the minimum meal price available under such food deliveries would typically be above RM10 and be in the range of RM15 to RM20 at minimum, with daily food delivery expenses possibly RM50 a day inclusive of deliveries: “I usually don’t spend that much on food in a month.”

Although she has received discounts from her child’s daycare centre, she has also been spending more money stocking up on diapers and milk in case she cannot not go out to buy more.

Although it will be a relief when daycare centres reopen, she has some questions and may ask to continue working from home if she feels the daycare centre’s precautionary measures are insufficient: “They said daycare centres can start opening but with proper SOP in place, but how do they ensure proper social distancing between toddlers? They are not going to stay apart.”

3. CY

CY, 43, said her challenge during the MCO was “having to juggle working from home, having my son at home and preparing meals, house chores on a daily basis”, as her child’s kindergarten was closed and her part-time cleaner barred by the condominium management from coming.

“The biggest challenge is that I had to change my role very quickly from my professional work self to being a mother and a teacher as well. My son is five and he is not old enough to attend online learning alone, and the school’s teaching materials require parental involvement at large. This is rather draining,” the business consultant said.

Her income had also been cut even before the MCO started, due to the economic pressure from the Covid-19 pandemic as she works for a Hong Kong-based company.

She has continued to pay her part-time cleaner, as well as her child’s kindergarten which has offered some rebates and replacement school days in the future.

CY said policymakers should allow for flexibility in rules based on exceptions instead of taking a one-size-fits-all approach, as no policy would be able to cover all demographics.

“I’d like to see an awareness of ‘atypical’ households like single parent households in the rules or policy announced during any crisis. For example, grocery shopping can be stressful to plan because there’s no childcare available. 

“Also for single parents who work full time, employers perhaps can grant leave in lieu during this period so that we can have the option of taking a limited number of paid leave during this period,” she said, adding that her employer has been understanding in this aspect by letting her take some time off for her duties at home.

“Another help would be the understanding of schools when they devise any online teaching, that for a single working parent it can be extremely taxing,” she said.

4. Abigail Lo

Abigail Lo, 33, said the challenge she faced during the MCO was getting everything done without help; squeezing in full-time work while cooking, cleaning, tidying and being present for her four-year-old child with the kindergarten not operating.

“I was luckier than most as I still had dedicated working hours but far reduced,” the marketing and communications professional said.

Going for groceries was also a “nightmare” with one supermarket almost refusing her entry as she had her son with her and only let her in after the manager’s approval.

Another grocery store asked her to leave her child with the security guard but this was eventually resolved with one of the staff members helping her get the items on her shopping list.

“Later into the MCO after it became difficult to shop with my son, a neighbour helped me to do my groceries,” she said.

She has kept paying the kindergarten despite her son’s disinterest in online classes during the MCO, as she wants the school to remain in operation in the future.

Lo, who is also the vice-chair of non-profit organisation “ibu Family Resource Group” which offers support, resources and information to families in Kuala Lumpur, suggested that the government and policymakers start by identifying the needs of single parents if they want to help.

“My experience during this MCO is as if single parents don’t exist. We’re not represented at the higher levels of policy making. Single dads even less so. Single parents need a lot of support. Flexibility in working hours, and where we work.”

She also suggested financial assistance for single parents, or discounts on essential services depending on their income bracket.

*Names have been changed as requested.