KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 23 — The ongoing trial of a Malaysian couple charged in Sweden with hitting their children has raised a pertinent question: is it time to put away the rod when disciplining minors?
Parents here are divided. Some believe that spanking still has its place, especially when dealing with wilfully disobedient children; others say that physical punishment begets violence.
“For Muslims, it’s acceptable, as long as you don’t beat them up,” said mother of three, Azalina Azamuddin.
The 35-year-old said the Quran allows the caning of children, aged above seven, for not praying, and said Malaysia should not follow Sweden’s example in totally abolishing corporal punishment.
However, she said certain limits can be introduced.
“There should be an extent to what kind of level you can enforce your right as parents, and not totally abuse them,” Azalina told The Malay Mail Online in a phone interview.
Azalina, who works as an investigation executive, said it was difficult to avoid using physical punishment when disciplining her children aged between seven and 11, but added that she only caned them when they fought among themselves or talked back to her, and even then on the legs or buttocks, never above the waist.
Julia Yeow, also 35, shared a similar view, saying Malaysia should not ban caning or fix the method of discipline, adding that parents should be able to decide how to deal with their disobedient offspring.
“By outlawing something, the government is effectively taking away caregivers’ right of choosing the best methods for their child,” said Yeow, whose three children are all below seven years old.
The working mother said she and her husband had previously used a wooden spoon to lightly smack their children but now use a cane on the two older boys — now aged six and three — when they “cross certain lines”, hitting them only on the palms and buttocks.
The sub-editor said they did use other methods apart from corporal punishment, and always explained to the children why they were being disciplined.
“My eldest is very compliant, so we rarely, if ever, need to cane him. My second is totally opposite, so harsher methods do work better with him,” she said.
Julian Hopkins, an Irish lecturer who has been living here for 12 years, said he has never spanked or physically punished his children.
“I don’t want to teach them to use violence towards other people,” said the father of two boys aged two and four.
Instead, he disciplines his older child by making him go to his room, or telling the four-year-old to sit on the sofa for five minutes.
“At his age, the fact that you’re unhappy with him is the biggest punishment you can give because children seek our approval,” he said.
Hopkins said he knows of parents who resort to corporal punishment on children the same age as his own, but added, “I don’t see a significant difference in their behaviour. It’s not necessary and it’s probably damaging in the long term.”
The 44-year-old suggested that a more effective method of disciplining older children was to withhold their pocket money or ground them.
The Irishman said physical punishment, whether in schools or in prison, should be prohibited in Malaysia.
Malaysian teacher Shalwati Norshal and her husband Azizul Raheem Awaluddin, a Tourism Malaysia official based in Stockholm, were charged with committing gross violation of integrity against their four children — aged between seven and 14 years — and with assault.
According to statements by their children, Shalwati was accused of hitting them at their home in Stockholm for several years, even with items like a piece of wood, a coat hanger, canes, a carpet beater and a belt.
The couple was detained on December 18 last year after being accused of beating their children for not praying.
Sweden outlawed corporal punishment in 1979, the first country in the world to do so.
Since then 34 other nations have followed suit, abolishing all forms of physical punishment on children.
