SEPT 2 — “In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” — Alex Haley
“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.” — Winston Churchill.
“Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.” — George Bernard Shaw.
Has social media divided family quality time? Is Mircosoft Outlook no longer applicable to just setting up times for business meetings and conference calls, and, now, expanded to include family meetings?
Growing up, dinnertime was dedicated family time, and the only possible distraction was the television with either news or a favourite sitcom.
The discussions centred around school/tests/grades, vacations, father’s work, sports, mother updating on family matters, friends’ escapades, and so on.
The important point is there was actual verbal communication — an art that is slowly being marginalised by texting — and physical interaction, an important element in bonding.
Furthermore, the non-verbal elements — body posture, voice inflexion, rolling of the eyes, gasps of breath/sighing, etc., — confirmed or contradicted the verbal ones. Obviously, it cannot be fully captured electronically, even with emoticons!
(Qurey: Is a rethink required by Human Resource when recruiting and retaining Generation Social Media (GSM) workers? Furthermore, do job and job roles need to be refined to take into account said generation?)
Talking2Texting
It’s difficult to pinpoint a relevant time period, set of events or geographic location when the word “family” became just a password to access. Was it the home answering machine for the telephone, where messages were left because it was sometimes hard to co-ordinate family timings?
Was it the mass acceptance of cell phones with (cheap) texting plans? Was it e-mails and on-line greeting cards? Was it the mass accessibility of the Internet, which became the e-family and (alleged) e-problem solver?
Was it the e-malls like Amazon, on-line grocery (PeaPod), on-line auctions (E-Bay) made possible with on-line payment (PayPal), which made family outings for shopping less necessary?
Was it video games, Wii and X-Box — many of which can be downloaded free or for a nominal charge — that kept the user (kids and adults) engaged by offering more challenging levels? These allow the user to have bragging rights, via posting scores, to show the e-world.
(But today’s theme parks, like Universal Studios or Ferrari World, have actual rides (rollercoasters) and virtual rides that entail “Transformer” fights or getting behind the wheels of a Ferrari, thus catering to the video game players with actual “courses.”)
Did the family “unbundling” accelerate with video calls via Skype, Face Time, etc., hence making actual face time less important? Less reason to undertake actual visits to relatives?
Maybe this is inevitable... a part of progress (others say regress), and there needs to be a new definition or description of “e-family,” where a “cloud” has become part of the family?’ Is an “e-child” around the corner?
It would be interesting to undertake a study on the impact of family dynamics where social media has become part of the DNA of the family, where social media is purposely limited, and where social media has had minimum presence! Then follow the family members, and examine the inter-family relationships, loneliness, divorces, off-springs, etc.
Will the new family be described as 2.5 kids, 2 cars, white picket fence, and 4G broadband connectivity?
Internet connectivity
One of the tell-tale signs that younger kids (less than 15 years old) influence their parents is Internet access for family outings. For example, the choice of restaurants for Friday night dinners has more to do with availability of (strong) Internet connection than the actual menu! Or going to a relatives’ house, the first comment after “hello/salaam” (sometimes not) is, “... auntie/uncle, do you have wifi and what’s the password?”
Does this result in a slow “disconnect” (no pun intended) between grandchildren and grandparents, as the latter may not understand the lingo/jargon or means of communication of the former?
(Today’s kids, as young as four years, are actually “teaching” adults aspects of, say, downloading. For example, a colleague’s son, Shariq, wanted me to download an app to identify songs with. He asked for my iPhone, worked his magic with his tiny fingers in machine gun speed, and a few seconds later, I had Shazam, and he was back to his video game!)
Or family holidays where the kids will ask whether the hotel has access to wifi in the room and public areas? From a parent’s point of view, is it complimentary as a number of iPads, iPhones, Macbooks, laptops, etc., are part of the carry “plug in” luggage!
Furthermore, if one wants to see a child’s temper tantrum reach an opera-level high note, just observe when the Internet connection is slow (buffering), Internet is out, or they forgot the charger! It’s as if Internet connectivity has become a controlled substance, and not having either results in not so pleasant withdrawal symptoms!
Obviously, it’s the same set of issues for young adults and adults, especially when checking into hotel rooms! For example, I’m guilty of Internet dependence, hence, when looking into hotels in KL or Dubai, the overriding issue is not free breakfast, health-club, or even location, but access to complimentary Internet for 2-3 machines!
Note: I have switched rooms at hotels a few times in a day when the connection was slow, as the rooms were far from the router!
Finally, a typical frustration (for foreign visitors) is when a preferred carrier is automatically switched on the iPhone or Blackberry depending upon location in KL or Dubai, as some carriers are slower than others!
Face-in-you-tweet
Today, the world of Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, messaging, etc., has made inroads into much of family time with (re)tweeting, updating, uploading with Usain Bolt race-time to comment.
Stories on news channels like, FOX, CNN or BBC, and media websites, at the end, almost always request viewers to be the first to comment. Some of the comments are personal attacks on the author or person mentioned and deter people from writing! Where is this e-rage coming from? Internet’s dark side: anonymity?
It seems that being the first to comment or be the most re-tweeted is the gold medal standard! The flipside of being first is these comments are usually based more on raw emotions and less thinking through consequences. There are numerous stories of people who have regretted hitting the send button, and this is best captured by Jure Klepic:
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; what happens on Twitter stay on Google forever!”
Furthermore, the attention span of kids has become comparable to that of a firefly glow. Or, as James Gurd, e-commerce & marketing consultant, said:
“Attention spans will only decrease as technology breeds laziness and the expectation of rapid solution delivery.”
It seems social media has created a generation of neural connected fast thinking minds that are more ripe for equity/bond traders on Wall Street, than building industries that contribute to development and diversification of less developed economies. Remember, technology, or technology/media/telecom (TMT) is only one of ten economic sectors in a balanced economy.
Conversely, social media was instrumental during the Arab Spring, levelled the information playing field during the elections in Malaysia, and brought the news out of Syria, and so on.
Finally, the ability to think on one’s feet may also mean having a “chair at the table” of professional development, but the ability to effectively communicate verbally is key to a permanent seat and C-suite!
Conclusion
It’s about individuals (not ISPs) advancing in a balanced manner, family values (ying) combined with intelligent connectivity (yang). A moderation approach of Generation Social Media is the key to keeping the family together whilst pushing the parameters for advancing the family, village, company and country.
“Focus on how to be social, not on how to do social.” — Jay Baer
* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
