KUALA LUMPUR, April 6 — M. Indira Gandhi has never given up hope of meeting her youngest daughter Prasana Diksa again, although they have been separated for 17 years since her ex-husband snatched the 11-month-old baby and disappeared.
Indira is hoping to be able to catch a glimpse of Prasana today at the High Court in Ipoh.
“We are so excited that we might see Prasana... we are crossing our fingers.
“We are putting all our 100 per cent hope that the police will bring Prasana, even just a few minutes, for us to see her, to exchange a few words [with] her, even her two siblings are very much anticipating this date,” Indira told Malay Mail.
Today, the police are scheduled to update the High Court on its efforts to find the ex-husband and Prasana, whose locations remain unknown.
With Prasana turning 18 in two days on April 8, time is running out, as she would become an adult. That means the police would no longer be legally required to find and return her to Indira.
Indira, 51, remains firm in her resolve to search for Prasana even after her 18th birthday.
“But no matter what, even [when] she turns 18 … I don’t want to stop until the day that I will see Prasana,” she said, noting that she has been waiting for many years despite getting a court order for Prasana to be returned to her.
“I’m not going to stop searching for Prasana no matter what because she’s still my biological daughter, and I think I have all the rights to see her,” she said.
While acknowledging that Prasana as an adult would have the freedom to make her own choices, Indira said all she wants to do is to see her again.
“Whether she wants to stay with me, or she wants to stay with her father, it’s not an issue now. Just to see her is the most important thing,” she said.
It’s not about religion, but about a mother’s reunion with her child
After Indira’s ex-husband K. Pathmanathan became a Muslim and snatched Prasana away, he converted the couple’s three children to Islam without Indira’s knowledge or consent, and obtained custody for the three children at the Syariah court.
Indira won custody of the three children at the civil courts, which also ordered the police to find and arrest Pathmanathan for failing to return Prasana to her mother.
The Federal Court decided that Pathmanathan’s unilateral religious conversion of the three children was illegal and invalid.
The Federal Court also pointed out past court decisions which ruled that it is the civil courts that have the power to decide on custody of children – who were born in a non-Muslim marriage – even after one of the spouses converts to Islam.
But at the end of the day, this case is not about religion, but simply about a mother who wants to reunite with her child.
“Yes exactly, because I have never raised this as a religious issue, and all I ask the public is if they know any details, please share with us, that I can meet my daughter, that’s all. It’s never been a religious issue,” Indira said.
Indira believes her ex-husband would have raised Prasana as a Muslim, and said her concern is not about her daughter’s religious choices but about her wellbeing the past 17 years.
While saying the family often gets Facebook comments suggesting that Prasana should be with the father because he is a Muslim, Indira said she would not mind Prasana being with him if for example he is providing her with good education.
But Indira also questioned why Pathmanathan would hide a daughter from her biological mother and siblings.
“And I don’t know why he keeps hiding, what is the purpose of keep hiding with the child.
“We just want to see her, we are not going to ask her to convert or anything, now she’s already a big girl. Let her decide what she wants to be, that is her personal view,” she said.
Indira also expressed frustration at not having news about Prasana.
“So the father has no right to keep her, hiding from her mother and her siblings, and the police are not doing their job since day one. That is what we keep asking, she was a breast-fed child, until now she’s a grown woman and we don’t know anything about what is happening to her.”
Just a few mementos of the months spent together
Indira still has Prasana’s teddy bear, her baby stroller, a few of her clothings and toys.
Indira only has a photograph of Prasana as a baby, and also two photographs of Prasana as a young child.
“So I can’t even imagine and think how she looks like now, could she be like her eldest sister or could she be like her brother? I don’t know. So all we wish is to see her first, then get to know her, then get familiar with her lifestyle. That’s what we want at the moment,” she said.
After the abduction, the only time that Indira saw Prasana physically was at 1.5 years old when she was brought to court, and had never been able to speak to the child all these years.
‘Out of sight, but always on our minds and in our hearts’
Indira said she and her two older children always pray for Prasana’s well-being on the latter’s birthday.
“It is so sad we couldn’t celebrate with the actual person, but I always offer at the temple for her – I do prayers under her name that she’s well and healthy, and she has good education – and that’s about it lah, that’s how we celebrate her birthday,” said Indira, who is a Hindu.
The family thinks of Prasana during every festive season including Deepavali and even during all the little moments in everyday life, Indira said.
“Even Raya, we will be thinking Prasana might be celebrating Raya this year, we don’t know with who or what type of baju she might be wearing. It’s very saddening to know that your child is alive, but you don’t know anything about her,” she said.
“We always talk about Prasana, as if she is with us also,” she said.
“You know, like normal life, if Prasana would have been here, we could take her [to the] cinema, I mean a simple daily life,” she said, listing “simple things” such as shopping or going on holiday together.
“So coping with this life is not easy, but we have tons of hope that one day we will see her lah,” she said.
‘Dear Prasana, I want you to know this…’
“My message to Prasana is, I’ll always – not only me – my other two children, her siblings always keep her in our mind.
“We always love her, no matter what, we will not stop looking for her, no matter how many more years it takes… until we meet her… .”
Asked about the possibility that Prasana could be worried about meeting them after being apart since she was 11 months old, Indira said they would be patient with her.
“We will give her time, we will definitely work with her, we will definitely give her the peace to get to know us. I mean, I’m not going to rush her into anything. So let her know that she has a mother and her biological siblings, so we will give her the time to get to know us,” she said.
‘If we meet Prasana again…’
Indira said the family would welcome Prasana if she wants to stay with them, but would also accept it if she chooses to continue staying elsewhere as long as they can contact each other.
Indira hopes to be able to have Prasana stay over for a couple days, just to catch up and ease her worries about the child.
“Of course I want to know more about her, how she has endured all these 17 years, how she has grown up, what excitement she has in her life, you know – all these little details that will make us happy to know that she truly had a wonderful life.
“If she had that, it would be wonderful, and I don’t have to worry about her,” she said.
Indira, who has been a part-time baker for many years making Deepavali cookies as well as a tutor, said she would cook or bake whatever Prasana wants to eat.
Indira said the family would fully accept Prasana as she is.
“So I’m not going to judge her, I’m not going to expect anything from her, so let her be her when she comes.”
