DEC 30 -- At just about every training I have conducted for women — whether its about entrepreneurship or career — there is one common question that eventually comes up for a gulp of air.

Can women truly have it all? Is there such a thing as work-life balance?

This has led me on a personal quest over the years. Scouring through news articles, books, blogs what is obvious is this. While we may live in the second decade of the 21st century, women everywhere continue to struggle to find that elusive thing called ‘balance’ as they have done probably from the start of human civilisation.

Can we look like the seductive Kareena Kapoor, juggle multiple responsibilities like modern-day wonder woman Angelina Jolie and have the saintly qualities of the likes of Malala Yousoufzai, all rolled into one?

Can we truly transition from the bedroom to the boardroom in a single stilleto-ed leap with our hair and sanity intact?

Expected to be sexy sirens in bed, the I-have-it together mum plus career woman at home and the kind-hearted soul who puts everyone’s needs before her own, these unrealistic expectations are spawning books and blogs and personal development guru’s in sheer volume like never before.

One recent book is by a former Harvard Business School professor Debora Spar called Wonder Women: Sex, Power and the Quest for Perfection in which she says that despite all the gains women have made over the last 30 years, having it all is simply not on the cards.

Drawing on her life experience as well as a teacher at Harvard where she saw young women striving for perfection everyday, she has joined a growing chorus of highly-successful women urging women to “kill the myths” that make them feel inadequate.

But when Arianna Huffington, the Cambridge-educated, bestselling author of 12 books and co-founder of the hugely successful online news portal “The Huffington Post” stepped into this discussion, it truly found its momentum.

In June this year, she started a movement called The Third Metric, to redefine success.

“The current model of success, in which we drive ourselves into the ground, and in which working to the point of exhaustion and burnout is a badge of honour, was created by men,” she told UK’s Telegraph newspaper.

“It’s a model of success that’s not working for women, and it’s not working for men, either. Our workplaces are fuelled by sleep deprivation.”

She learned this lesson painfully, when she fainted from exhaustion in 2007, breaking a cheekbone in the process.

Ranked by Forbes as one of the world’s most powerful women, her movement to “change the world that men have designed” has caught on like wildfire.

This metric, which she calls a “third revolution” is about changing the world that men have designed.

“Bigger, better, more — we can’t do that anymore,” she said. “It’s not sustainable.”

And the science backs this up. Data shows that women in stressful jobs have a nearly 40 per cent increased risk of heart disease and 60 per cent greater risk of diabetes.

A study by a global workplace service provider in Malaysia this year showed the health depletion in Malaysia is even more pronounced.

Close to 70 per cent of employed Malaysians are experiencing an increase in stress-related sickness ever since the global economic crisis. Stress-related illnesses can trigger other health conditions such as depression, asthma, obesity and heart disease.

Recently, one of my favourite shows is “The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet” where she talks to famous women and asks them questions about life, love, success and family. A show like this, where we get to hear such women talk about their path, their struggles and their insecurities is important because it removes the illusion that these women live perfectly manicured lives.

In one episode, singer Alicia Keys says her favourite quote was “Nothing before its time” which has now become one of my favourites.

As I look back on 2013, I am glad I have come a long way from the (mistaken) belief that there is such a thing as work-life balance. The myth of believing in the seductress, the wonder woman and the saint has gone the way of believing in Santa Claus.

Now when women ask me if there is such a thing, my answer is a definitive No. Instead, I say we need to replace the B-word with the P-word. Priorities … and nothing before its time. So as we plan our goals for 2014, being clear-eyed about these are is really the Holy Grail of a meaningful and happy life.

Happy New Year!

* Faridah Hameed is creator of The Language of Power for Women training series. Connect with her on her website http://www.faridahhameed.com or on Facebook and LinkedIn.

** This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malay Mail Online.