KUALA LUMPUR, June 13 ― Cancer normally puts a person's life on pause, but YouTube filmmaker Jared Lee found that it him the drive to continue telling stories.
In 2018, the Grim Film founder came forward with his wife, actress Marianne Tan, in a video announcing he was diagnosed with stage 1a testicular cancer and had to undergo surgery.
One cycle of chemotherapy, a pandemic, and a face-scarring bicycle accident later, Lee shared he is ‘somehow still fine’ and recently had his animated short film selected at the 2023 Cannes Film Festival Short Film Corner.
Lee told Malay Mail that the surgery and treatments would be the least of the struggles the filmmaker and his wife reckoned with in the last four years.
After several checks with the doctor, Lee was found to have a zero sperm count, which meant that he was infertile.
It was a terrible blow to the couple when the doctor finally concluded they would be unable to have children.
“This time the wound was, 'For sure you cannot get, don't even hope'. But the doctor was very patient in answering all our questions.”
He said that his cancer was currently at bay, adding that he was not cancer-free yet as he could relapse at any time.
“During the pandemic, I began to ask myself ‘Why do I need to be kind?’”, Lee candidly shared.
“There was a grieving period where Marianne and I had to come to terms with the situation, that was really tough.
“Thankfully, Marianne was truly supportive and took most of the burden as a caregiver by keeping up with my appointments and making sure I followed the doctor's treatment plan.
“She was and still is an important part of my recovery journey and a source of strength to rely on.”
The couple even considered adoption as a possibility, but were disheartened at the lengthy process and time needed in Malaysia.
Reality began to sink in that they may not be parents anytime in the near future.
“There was another mourning time when we realised adoption may not be possible for us,” Lee said.
“But thankfully, with time, Marianne and I resolved our feelings of frustration as we believed everything happened for a reason.
“Perhaps we were meant to help other couples who had the same problems we faced and encourage them by telling them they aren’t alone.”
Lee’s longtime passion for filmmaking also went into ‘high gear’ after his fight with cancer reminded him of the fragility of life.
His new animated short film, Horologist, was born out of his struggle with cancer and his desire to explore dark topics like child abandonment and poverty.
“Initially, Horologist started out as a comic book made in collaboration with local comic artist Cross,” Lee revealed.
“But I realised that it had the potential to be something more, so I applied for an animation grant by MDEC (Malaysia Digital Economy Corporation) and the story was approved.”
Lee worked on the animation for Horologist from 2020 to 2022 and quietly sent it to various international festivals, one of them being the prestigious Cannes Film Festival.
“Honestly, when I first got the email that our short was selected for the Cannes Short Film Corner I thought it was a scam.
“I wrote a reply to them asking ‘Is this for real?’ and Cannes wrote back to me saying ‘Yes, indeed. Your film is chosen.’”
Going to Cannes and experiencing every film screened at the festival opened Lee’s mind to the possibilities of Malaysia’s film industry.
“I believe a good film doesn’t preach and every film I saw at Cannes this year asked questions about social issues and challenged the audience,” Lee said.
“On top of that, meeting directors and producers of other countries and workshopping new ideas really motivated me to push forward.”
Lee found hope in an industry he believed had suffered from the effects of the pandemic and had produced jaded practitioners.
“It dawned on me that my time is precious, and shouldn’t be wasted sulking around,” the 38-year-old said.
“I have stories to share and I want to make sure I get the chance to tell them.”
