KUALA LUMPUR, Dec 12 — Marriage is hard and couples need to realise that it is not a journey to be taken alone.
Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama said this was because couples, who were raised differently as individuals, were coming together to build a life together.
“And when you decide to have kids, well, they just mess everything up. They want what they want. It’s a hassle,” she jokingly said during the plenary session at the Obama Foundation Leaders: Asia-Pacific Programme with Oscar-winning actress Julia Roberts that was also live-streamed on the foundation’s website.
It was moderated by former Miss Malaysia World and Fugee School co-founder Deborah Henry.
She was answering a question from Henry regarding her relationship to her husband, former US president Barack Obama.
She added that it was common for people to think of things like having the perfect wedding when they were trying to reach #relationshpgoals.
“But it’s (marriage) a hard thing. Barack and I understood that about each other. There was counselling for Barack and I. We both learned that we have to work through challenging times,” she said.
“We worked at getting marriage counselling because sometimes we can’t do this on our own. A relationship requires a community to get through.
“Marriage is not a solo expedition. You need a friend, family member or outside help to help you.”
Obama had previously spoken about getting marriage counselling and wrote about it in her biography “Becoming”.
In another light-hearted moment, she said one also had to like the person one was married to.
“I liked and respected him. We had the same shared values.”
“You put in the hard work. If you have a 40- or 50-year marriage and 10 years where you hated each other, I’ll take those odds. Love for 50 years, 10 years of hate that you want to push him out of the window.
“You don’t want him dead, you just want him injured.”