DECEMBER 25 — Two DAP ladies walked into a bar, one disappointed not to be loved and the other angrier but cheerier because an old bother got kicked in the teeth.

Weigh Hannah Yeoh and Yeo Bee Yin’s relative predicaments and a joke it tempts to be.

Hannah is appointed Federal Territories minister and rumours swirl how city Malays are sold down the Klang River, while Bee Yin’s celebratory post about Najib’s no-release twists every right-winger’s knickers.

Both will be with their families on Christmas Day. Today. Najib won’t.

Before to the present, how did both ladies get here; one lambasted for being chosen to lead the capital and the other drawing brickbats for being a giddy school girl hearing the news that the former prime minister has to — for another year — eye the Christmas star from his prison cell.

If they want to hate them, they might want to know them first.

Them two, side by side

Hannah’s demeanour contrasted to abrasive Bee Yin’s inclines us to think she’s younger. In fact, the Puchong MP is four years younger.

Subang Jaya local Hannah became a 29-year-old assemblyman in 2008 when Pakatan knocked Barisan Nasional off the Selangor government perch. 

Bee Yin, the Cambridge postgraduate with a chemical engineering background, only showed up four years later in 2012 as DAP’s social media go to guy. 

By May 2013, she too was a Selangor assemblyman, for Damansara Utama. In Bee Yin’s first term, Hannah was Selangor’s first female Speaker. Hannah instructs the junior rep when and how long to speak in the chamber.

In 2018, both packed their bags and left Selangor. Hannah heads out to KL’s Segambut and Bee Yin returns to Johor’s Bakri. Both win. Surprisingly, Mahathir Mohamad appoints the former state speaker as only deputy minister but elevates Bee Yin to minister status.

They both get booted out with the Pakatan lot after the 2020 Sheraton Move. They regroup during the Covid-19 pandemic.  

Hannah defends Segambut at GE15 in 2022, and Bee Yin returns to Selangor for the super-safe Puchong seat. 

Anwar thinks quite differently from Mahathir, and asks Hannah to join his Cabinet as sports minister. Bee Yin is a backbencher now, and DAP’s publicity chief.

To Umno, she’s taken the “all publicity is good publicity” ethos too far.

Just a girl from Subang

She’s not my choice to run my city. The obvious bias is that she’s from the wrong end of the Klang Valley. The objective criticism would be her spineless reaction to the FAM-Fifa fiasco.

But her detractors care not about the clueless middle-class or ethical principles. They object to her being Chinese. No pharmacy pills can fix that. 

There’s no sophistication in the pontification. She will wrong Malays, they claim. 

The ongoing Malay issues like housing goes from bad to worse to even Mars if no one keeps track of the planet’s gravitational pull. It’s DAP, their evil goes beyond this Milky Way.

Hannah the Horrible is the new Butcher of Kampung Baru. No evidence, no reference necessary. She is Chinese.

This irks.

If Hannah cannot care for Malays because she is Chinese, the logical extension of this is that Malay politicians including the 10 prime ministers we have had never cared enough for the Chinese, Ibans, Siamese, Muruts and Punjabis because the prime ministers were Malays. 

What does that say about Malaysia? What does that say about the future?

In 1960 when Catholic John F. Kennedy won the US presidency, the hardcore puritanical protestants feared that the pope would run the USA using his subject. 

Next month, Zohran Mamdani helms the biggest, most influential city in the world, New York. 

Donald Trump said that he has evil immigrant plans, being a Muslim and all. It’s great so many Malaysians are rooted in majoritarianism, they have a friend in Trump.

Having said that, Hannah might verily fail. Fail spectacularly perhaps. Anyone asked to manage KL may fail. Yet, remember. The character of a man, or woman, is what decides, not the colour.

Hannah’s own story shows what she lacks in intellectual bravado, she fills with grit, kindness and perspiration. KL might end up better for that.

She celebrates in a mansion

A democracy allows for opinions. Opinions are central to discourse, which is how a society determines its paths. Even with rigorous disagreements, in a civil tone.

If Yeo Bee Yin prances around the Christmas tree in her billionaire husband’s home with a bit more gusto because Najib sits in a jail cell, well, she can.

But when all these gentlemen from Umno go berserk over a social media posting by a person who does not like Najib, they do look like overacting extras in a B-movie. 

Not any of them I am guessing took the bus or train to Bee Yin’s parliamentary service centre but rather drove their party entitlement vehicles to intimidate the MP. Oh, the sacrifice.

Universe to Umno, a lot of people are happy about other people’s misery. Deal with it. This is not the 1990s and threatening people for their opinions is so not woke, man.

Having said that, Bee Yin might want to remember she represents the people of Puchong, and they might appreciate grace from their parliamentarian.

The justice system punishes transgressors, but the higher ideal is to promote good and not be vengeful. 

Her party backs the moratorium on executions and the repeal of mandatory death penalty sentencing. Because an eye for an eye means the state lowers itself to the standards of the most vicious and evil. 

Her party hurries authorities to investigate the deaths of three men in Durian Tunggal. Because it wants none of us to be above the law.

Her party seeks justice not Shylock’s pound of flesh. Perhaps as publicity chief she should stay on that side of the line.

Social democrats believe in rehabilitation. That the past does not condemn the future.

Hate to be preachy but I thought as politicians they know it’s unwise to alienate voters.

Being better teachers

But this is Christmas, and my teacher, friend and confidant died this week. Learning is huge on my agenda presently.

Hold the verdict on Hannah till she takes on her tasks. Umno lads, you know you have Christmas plans, stick to those. Bee Yin, same advice, it’s Christmas, accept more love in your life.

The holiday needs good news, so here’s mine.

I live in a failed development. Tower Nine had only one of four lifts work the past week. At one point, none worked. The people residing on level 29 are not happy campers.

It started out as a golf resort 30 years ago. Today, the greens have turned to more housing and the arcade a disused building to scare you at night. 

The rental rates stayed low so it’s a cosmopolitan working-class community. Bill, the rep, with friends runs around in his motorcycle to oversee repairs and garbage collection.

Bill is too busy doing good that he has no time to celebrate the pains of others. Maybe Bee Yin can busy herself with the 180,000 Puchong voters. There must be lifts that require tending.

Politics aside, hope Najib meets his family over the holidays. Because if you cannot want joy for others over Christmas, what’s the point?

We can all be better teachers.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.