NOVEMBER 11 — The recent tragic incidents involving violence and loss of young lives in Malaysian schools should make every parent, teacher and member of society stop and think. Schools are supposed to be safe places where children learn, make friends and prepare for their future. Yet, when violence happens within school grounds, it raises a worrying question: Are we doing enough to teach our young people how to manage anger, handle disagreements and resolve conflicts peacefully?

Conflict is a normal part of growing up. Teenagers may disagree with friends, feel left out, experience bullying, face peer pressure or become upset when things do not go their way. These are common challenges during adolescence. However, the concern is how they respond to such situations. Some young people struggle to control their emotions, accept criticism or manage rejection. Instead of talking things through, they may turn to shouting, threats, bullying or even physical violence. The problem is not that young people experience conflict, but that some may not have the skills to deal with it in a healthy way.

The tragic school stabbing of 16-year-old Yap Shing Xuen in Bandar Utama in October 2025, followed by other disturbing reports of student deaths in 2026, has brought school safety and youth behaviour into the spotlight. While every incident has its own circumstances and should not be judged without proper investigation, these heartbreaking events remind us that violence among young people must never be taken lightly. Behind every tragedy are families whose lives are changed forever, students who may be left traumatised and teachers who carry the emotional burden of keeping their schools safe.

One concern is that we often focus too much on academic results while paying less attention to emotional development. We want our children to score good grades, enter good universities and secure successful careers. But are we teaching them how to manage anger, respect differences, accept disappointment and communicate when they are upset? These are equally important skills. A child may be academically excellent but still struggle to handle frustration or disagreements. Without proper guidance, small arguments can grow into bigger problems, especially when influenced by peer pressure and social media. Online insults, public humiliation and cyberbullying can make matters worse, as young people sometimes find it difficult to walk away from arguments or control their reactions.

Parents have an important role in addressing this issue. Children learn not only from what parents say but also from what they see at home. When parents handle disagreements through shouting, insults or aggression, children may grow up thinking such behaviour is acceptable. Parents should make time to listen to their children, understand their worries and encourage them to talk openly about their feelings. Instead of immediately scolding them, parents should guide them on how to manage anger, think before reacting and solve problems peacefully. Children who feel supported and understood at home are more likely to seek help when facing difficulties.

Teachers and schools also have a responsibility beyond delivering lessons and preparing students for examinations. Conflict management, respect, empathy and emotional control should become part of everyday learning. Schools can organise simple workshops, group discussions and activities that teach students how to communicate, handle disagreements and understand other people’s feelings. Teachers should also be trained to recognise early signs of bullying, aggressive behaviour and emotional distress. Students must feel safe reporting problems, knowing that their concerns will be taken seriously.

The wider community must also play its part. Youth clubs, neighbourhood organisations, religious institutions and NGOs can organise positive activities, mentoring programmes and awareness campaigns to encourage good behaviour and build stronger relationships among young people. Government agencies should strengthen school counselling services and ensure that students who need emotional or psychological support can access help early.

Ultimately, preventing youth violence is not the responsibility of schools alone. It takes parents, teachers, communities and the government working together. We should not wait until another tragedy happens before taking action. Our children need more than academic knowledge to succeed in life. They need patience, kindness, self-control and the ability to resolve disagreements without hurting others.

Perhaps it is time we asked ourselves a simple question: Are we raising children who know how to succeed in examinations, or are we also raising young people who know how to live peacefully with others? Every child deserves a safe school, every parent deserves peace of mind, and every young person deserves the guidance to grow into a responsible and caring adult. The time to teach these lessons is now, before another young life is lost.

* Muhammad Noor Abdul Aziz is an associate professor in the School of Education, Universiti Utara Malaysia, while Marcia Jane Ganasan is an associate professor in the School of Languages, Literacies & Translation, Universiti Sains Malaysia.

** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.