Yes, Prasana. Amma won. But I still lost. The paper victory I received never came into fruition until today. I don't know where you are. How you are doing. Are you going to school? What did you have to eat last night? Are you safe? Is anyone bullying you in school or anywhere else?
Questions which amma should not be asking, because you should be here with me by now, where I can watch over and protect you.
But your disappearance has been making me question many things. Would I get to see you before I leave one day?
I am still pining for you everyday Prasana. Every minute. When I see parents with their toddlers, it becomes a painful reminder to me about my motherhood. Those precious moments watching you grow up, which I will never get back. Important memories which were snatched away from me.
But I will soldier on. Till the day I meet you. Hold on to dear life so I can see you, hopefully soon. Real soon. Whatever religion you choose is entirely up to you, always remember that. It is your personal choice which should not be up for debates or policing. Unfortunately, some feel otherwise and even previously claimed that a religious strife might occur if the police continue to search for you and your father. I never understood why. Why such sentiments surround my journey to get justice for us.
You are and will always be my daughter no matter what happens. Tevi akka and your anne Dinish are forever your blood siblings.
Amma's one fervent wish in 2021, is to see you and get you back into my arms. It is also my greatest hope that no parents, regardless of what faith they are, should ever face what I am undergoing today.
Will this be my year? Or will I be brought to reckoning again by having to suffer not being able to see you? It is now in the hands of the Inspector-General of Police and his men and women in the force.
I will fight for our justice Prasana. As long as I live.
Happy new year, ma.
Love, Amma
*Indira M. Gandhi's daughter was stolen away by her ex-husband just before he converted to Islam in 2009.
*This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.