JULY 9 — Recently, the onslaught of reruns on TV has been greater what with the launch of a new channel solely dedicated to bring back the oldies but goodies. 

Kicking back and lounging on the sofa to catch the shows that featured your favourite stars can be fun.

Or sad. 

When you realise that some shows do not have the same kind of magic it used to hold when you were catching it for the first time. 

And then, there are shows that, upon re-watching still prove slightly irritating. 

Like Ally McBeal. The series on the neurotic, self-absorbed lawyer whose skirts would never get past any of our government security guards. 

Don’t get me wrong — the series is interesting enough with its witty dialogue and story lines. 

But what has me going is that women in the series, who are successful in their careers, are dumbed down with a “side dish” of being desperate to find the almost perfect man to settle down to have kids. 

What is sadder is that modern shows (be it made for TV movies or series) more or less do not run from forming strong female characters who kick ass at their jobs but turn to jello and whine about not having found THE One. 

Added to this list are reality shows with wedding themes including Amsale Girls which centres on women working at a designer boutique selling wedding gowns (which, by the way, are really, really beautiful). 

Which begs the question — why has the portrayal of women in popular culture has remained relatively unchanged since Ally fever hit us 18 years ago? 

Granted there are more women given positive and empowering roles in the past few years but what message is being sent to both genders when ultimately it boils down to what society deems as perfect? 

The pressure is on both men and women to marry at a certain age, have children and live happily ever after.

In reality things are not so rosy. 

It has been reported that there were 56,760 divorces recorded in Malaysia three years ago. Translating to a marriage breaking down every 10 minutes. 

Another report  cites there are more single men than women with 2.5 million Malaysians aged 25 and above who are unmarried (including divorced, widowed or have never tied the knot).

The Fourth Malaysian Population and Family Survey by the National Population and Family Development Board revealed that 32.1 per cent of respondents had never married.

The then-deputy women, family and community development minister Datuk Heng Seai Kee said  44.7 per cent of the male respondents did not marry because of financial problems while 19.3 per cent said there were no suitable candidates. 

Career and family commitment were also cited as among the reasons. 

On the flip side, 40 per cent of women said they didn’t marry because they had not found eligible suitors with other reasons including financial problems, career and comfort in being single. 

Perhaps it boils down to the fact that maybe not everyone is “made” to be married. 

And this shouldn’t be the yardstick used to measure a person’s success in modern day living.

While frowned upon by certain quarters, shouldn’t being in a relationship that is stable and fulfilling for both parties regardless of gender be taken into account? 

Or if a person is just happy and content being a “me, myself and I”?

At the risk of sounding selfish, maybe sometimes individual needs trump that of what society wants or dictates. 

It is not society that is going to be living one’s life, be it a sad or miserable existence.

In the same vein, a rethink of how both genders are portrayed is needed. 

To look beyond what is the perfect life and embrace the fact that perfect is not one-dimensional. 

There are many facets of perfection. 

There is no one formula that fits all. 

So, instead of trying to convince people that they need to fit into the perfect structured life, have them instead embrace diversity. 

That the box is not concrete but can be tailored to one’s life. 

And that life, is any form one chooses to live it, is beautiful.

* Audrey Edwards is news editor at Malay Mail. She can be reached at  audrey@mmail.com.my

** This is the personal opinion of the organisation and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.