MAY 25 —  While many of us have pleasing and fabulous memories of our schooling days, there are also others who hated the thought of going to an all-boys school. Their schooling days have in fact become a memory stored within the deepest recesses of their subconscious mind and must never be retrieved at any given costs. 

This is simply because an all-boys school also remains one of the most notorious platforms for bullying to occur. It is indeed an arena where the weak become hunted by the strong and only the fittest will survive while the weak will perish.

Right, I do admit that there is a certain degree of exaggeration to that statement. And yet, I still believe that there exists a certain degree of truth in the above statement.

An all-boys school does indeed have a hierarchical structure where the strong becomes stronger and the weaker students became their prey. It is after all, a place where testosterone and masculinity fuels the mind of such adolescents.

As a result, in ways more than one, many of us have become unwilling victims of bullying, or ourselves becoming the bully. Carried out either deliberately or unconsciously, bullying is a classic example of a demonstration of how power and authority is exerted onto others through acts of coercion.

But then again, bullying does not only exist in an all-boys school. Bullying has become an act of aggression that does not recognise gender boundaries and seems to have been occurring in co-ed and also in all-girls schools.

At this point, the idiom “boys will be boys” seem to be rather one-sided and biased in stating that only boys are capable of creating mischief, acting irresponsibly and behaving boisterously.

Perhaps acts of misdemeanor, aggression or violence towards other fellow students have been occurring in schools regardless of gender for quite some time. It could also be possible that the advent and popularity of affordable filmmaking technology and social media that has brought to light how bullying, ragging and hazing exist in almost any kind of school.

Many of us would've watched video recordings shared on YouTube or Facebook about how girls or boys are beaten up in their school uniforms, verbally abused in a vocabulary most foul, even given a battering of their lives simply because they were looking in the wrong direction at the wrong time or put through so-called rites of initiations that involve humiliation and degradation.   

It is only after such videos of high profiling bullying surface that arrests are made, committees are formed to study the extent of bullying, academic research conducted to find out the root causes of bullying and authorities promising that they will put an end to bullying. These forms of bullying can therefore take place physically, verbally, psychologically and in today's modern world within the cyber world.

And this is also when the blame game begins. School authorities would be blamed for not capably keeping watch on their students while parents get blamed for removing the powers to discipline by teachers. The media gets blamed for broadcasting films, printing comic books and for creating video games deemed too violent which have somehow turned children into bullies. Even society gets the blame for putting too much of unnecessary pressure onto students and then turning them into bullies. 

As the blame shifts from one party to another, the degree of bullying has become so severe that some students have even lost their lives. Such displays of machoism and aggressiveness towards others seem to be elevating and have gone beyond the point of worry and into murderous acts.

There are of course, cases of bullying which have gone unreported and there have also been cases of bullies repenting and regretting their acts. I am pretty sure that many have reformed and have become useful members of society.

But then again, what if the school bully never feels any sense of remorse for the sorry acts inflicted upon others? What if the bully doesn't adhere to karmic laws or doesn't respect the Confucian expression of not doing unto others what you don't want others to do unto you? What if the bully doesn't respect the “golden rule” that transcends faiths calling upon doing only kind deeds to others?

The bully then most probably grows up without regard for the rule of law. This schoolyard bully then grows up possessing a false sense of pride and arrogance who believes that respect is only earned through acts of terrorising others.

It is then when the schoolyard bully graduates into the workplace bully. It is then unreasonable behaviour such as victimising, humiliating, undermining or threatening are directed towards other so-called “weaker” employees.

The workplace bully would display similar characteristics to the schoolyard bully such as mimicking, teasing, insulting, yelling at or even undermining another employee. Like the schoolyard bully, the workplace bully too has the tendency of deliberately or unintentionally causing harm and trauma either physically or psychologically towards a fellow co-worker.

Similarly, the workplace bully behaves with intimidating manners because of the need to exert a sense of power and authority. And being in the positions of power and authority has lamentably allowed the bully to derogatorily mock the religion, race, age and gender of others, make others feel undervalued, heavily and unjustly criticise others or refuse someone their deserved promotions.

Very often, such individuals also resort to bullying due to feelings of insecurity. Because the bully feels insecure and incapable, the bully feels threatened by the potentials of others. Instead of nurturing, the bully instead works hard to suppress and hinder any forms of advancement and progression that others are capable of achieving. Many times, individuals have been reassigned irrelevant tasks way beyond one's job scope or simply put into cold storage.

Sadly, such despicable acts can occur within the presence of other employees, clients, customers or the public. So distressing can such forms of bullying become that those receiving such forms of undeserving intimidation would need to sit through sessions of counseling to help deal with the degree of aggression dealt. There are many who have been silent victims of sexual abuse.

Many victims of bullying choose to quietly sit and take the abuse for fear of retribution and vindication while other choose to resign and move away. The bully doesn't practice any form of professionalism nor takes criticism well. Any forms of feedback or criticism are taken personally. And because no one dares say anything nor comes to the aid of the bullied, the bully grows in arrogance and confidence while the acts of tyranny continue.

While such acts of hitting below the belt provides the bully with a perverse sense of gratification, such acts have denied many deserving individuals the merits they rightly deserve. As such, hardwork often goes unrecognised and thus leaving the bullied often feeling demoralised.

Indeed the time has come for such sadistic, narcissistic and imitative forms of bullying be nipped at the bud. On a positive note, there currently exists numerous efforts calling for bullying to stop through public service announcements and anti-bullying campaigns aimed at educating, empowering and engaging with bully victims. 

But one of the best forms of empowering bully victims is through the formation of a legislation that addresses bullying in schools so that it doesn't have the prospect of eventually spreading to the workplace.

At the same time, we educate these students of the value and importance of human dignity in schools so that this value can and should be internalised by them for the rest of their waking lives.

It is time to realise that bullying is not condoned at any school or workplace as such forms of negative behaviour are a threat towards the health and safety of others. The bullying epidemic needs to be placed under control and kept in check.

Students and employees alike should be legally protected against those who have chosen to cross the line as everyone deserves the right to be happy and conducive whether at school or work.

Differences therefore need to be respected, understood and celebrated. One shouldn't be abused, victimised and taunted at for being different.

As a matter of fact, what would you do when you see someone being bullied? Would you keep your silence elegantly, mind you own business and just walk away or would you stand up for what's right and defend the weak?

Indeed, we could've used the rod a bit too sparingly and have spoilt the child. Surely, we need to realise that sticks and stones may break my bones but abusive words will definitely hurt me.

*This is the personal opinion of the writer or organisation and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.