NOVEMBER 20 — While the end may appreciate the spirit it carries along to expedite one’s journey to achieve it, never once does the end, however, justify its means, howsoever difficult it takes to reach it. For some people, to be a good person does not necessarily require a compassionate act of comforting others who are in deep pain, let alone a mystical art of actually relieving them of such burden. It is enough that God’s name is chanted hysterically with spears in both hands, in the hope that despite its resultant atrocities, the mission to propitiate Her, and only Her is finally accomplished.

A few weeks ago, a brilliant seven-year-old acting prodigy, one Puteri Balqis, fantastically wowed the crowd when she outdid other nominees in the Anugerah Skrin Best Drama Actress Award. To crown it all, she broke the record for being the youngest award winner ever in the history of the acting industry.

As others would have excitedly done for the privilege of such graceful evening, she posted a picture of her carrying her award that was about the height of her diminutive knees. It looked very cute from where she posed. Her effulgent face, despite her age, somehow exuded arresting elegance and her poise, although it looked as if she had two left feet, one could confidently be assured of her potential rise to respectability in years to come.

She deserved, and in fact, had secured, all kinds of attention in the world including her hair-baring appearance which, as expected, had ruffled the feathers of many, earthly denizen and Facebook netizen alike.

Criticisms after criticisms were intolerably heaped on her simply because she wore what she did and on her parents simply because they let her wear what she wore.

In the end, the entire thread that should have been about her amazing victory in that memorable evening had turned into a relentless series of personal attack as most keyboard warriors were rather excited with her wardrobe wisdom.

While one reader, with noticeable anger, took liberty to assume a role of a soothsayer and foretold that she would grow up facing the eternal wrath of God because of her purported sinful gown, the other resented her parents for not being “responsible enough” so as to let her daughter become a disgrace to her religion.

Another case in point is referred to. Again, an actress, a more mature one, Nora Danish had her share of unwelcomed divine experience as Prophet Ishmael did, only virtually, when she was made a sacrificial lamb, or an ewe rather, following several pictures online exposing her tight-fitting dress with her camel-back-looking bun precariously hovering on top of her hair.

A comment from a netizen was as funny as saying that she was too beautiful to bear the “sin” of exposing her body. Another sounded as self-righteous as demanding that her pictures be erased so that his tireless effort all this while in accumulating as many heavenly rewards as possible would not go down the plug-hole.

Others just conveniently warbled their way through the thread, both lashing out at her “ignorance” and feting their eyes with the blessing of her well-endowed gifts at the same time.

Therein lies the problem. Most of us fail to realise that one’s body, unless she or he voluntarily allows it to be impinged upon, shall forever remain her absolute discretion. No one is to feel obliged, either morally or ecclesiastically, to tell how a woman’s body should be regulated.

While there is a much harsher reality on the ground that needs immediate attention, one’s dogged preoccupation over another’s body is just very appalling.

Grave issues involving maintenance of children as a result of divorce seems to be unnecessarily outshined by the growing concern over one’s hair. Similarly, a crying need for a reform in the Islamic justice system where victims of domestic violence are oftentimes treated with least importance have little, if not no room for attention until men’s claim that their shaken faith by a mere sight of a woman’s exposed arms is resolved indefinitely.

See, how far backward have we all regressed?

If one feels that another’s appearance causes a series of unabated eyesore, which is highly improbable since one would normally embark on a parang-brandishing spree only after the thirst of his eyes is quenched, it is better that the former seek a medical cure as soon as possible and stop blaming the latter for no apparent reason. Otherwise, he will be just as guilty of hypocrisy.

Unless such ‘disease’ of hair-flipping is proven to be medically incurably communicable, the existence of which is denied to begin with, one surely has no reason to feel disturbed or shaken at another’s choice to manage her body.

If at all, it is just jealousy and lust, but then again, no one should be at fault but the disturbed and the shaken themselves.

Telling others what to do with their body is often justified in the name of the promotion of moral consciousness. This notion suffers a great flaw, for, it is nothing but an empowerment of patriarchal culture where men can ask women what to wear, when to speak or even how to think, of course, at the pleasure of the former.

Yes, it is true that Prophet Muhammad was a man, but forget not, that, his employer, Khadijah, was a woman who later on became his wife. Despite the trust accorded to him by virtue of his honesty in taking care of her business, he remained obedient to the command of his employer. While women were treated with sheer indignity at that time, Prophet Muhammad had no qualms about being under Khadijah’s guidance, thereby breaking the tradition of superiority that was widely perpetuated amongst the Arabs.

Also, when the first revelation came upon him that had since marked his prophethood, it was his wife whom he sought solace from, and also from whom he subsequently regained his composure. 

If Prophet Muhammad was never assumed with such an air of self-entitlement, let alone arrogance, just because he was a man, then why must men be thinking that anything that is not “man” must be beneath them?

The real “religious travesty” here is not women’s choice to be modestly seen. Rather, it is men’s reluctance to obey the command of Allah to lower their gaze.

Do not write anything on behalf of women for they are unwritten, do not try to read anything for them for their minds are difficult, if not impossible to read, and, do not ever define them as they are perfectly capable of defining themselves. All that is asked of us is respect for them. Simple.

There is more to life that just one’s hair, unless, of course, the fluffy ones make yours stand insuppressibly. Then only will it become a shared concern, albeit very remotely possible.

Until then, let’s not debase ourselves into such a hairy lot. This country has suffered enough to make us known worldwide for a wrong reason. Let’s not sink any lower. We certainly do not deserve such humiliation.

They can try, but they cannot take that hair away from women.

* Azlan Abdul Razak is a lawyer who believes in justice and equality. He is also a fervent advocate for women’s rights. 

** This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.