SEPT 19 ― I remember growing up with many people around telling me that the Chinese were “out there” to get us. That they were merely waiting for the right chance to strike and if we Malays were not careful enough, the Chinese would dominate the country and make us slaves. And then there was another bunch of people who would constantly remind me that most Indians were useless, gangsters and dangerous, so I should stay away from them. Being young and naïve back then, I simply swallowed what they said. Besides, they seemed to be honest in protecting my interest and I also did not know many non-Malays during my school years. Little did I realize at that time how humans could manipulate such sentiment only for power and political gain.

So I carried that wrong belief and “fear of the other” with me until I entered a public school at the age of twelve. Somehow and in a not-so-mysterious way, I developed a beautiful friendship with two other students: a Chinese Catholic and an Indian Hindu girl. We got so close that friends around began teasing us. We even proudly named ourselves “the international trio” so that people would easily recognise us as a team or clique. Of course, at times uncomfortable questions like “why tudung?” came up but when I reflected back those queries, I found most of them nothing but innocent curiosity and a natural response to seeing something alien to one’s customs. After all, not all questions are sarcastic. Many are frank, so they deserve polite and proper answers.

Time flew and I went to a prestigious boarding school where 99 per cent of students were Malays like me. Life was full of excitement and a bright future was awaiting so the question of “the other” gradually slipped my mind. I lost contact with my two best friends, the “international duo”. In my obsession to secure a better future, I gave too much attention to academic studies and overlooked other important aspects such as mixing with people of different ethnicities and backgrounds, and seeking to understand others.  My subconscious mind therefore began re-absorbing old ideas of prejudice and bias towards those who did not share my culture, lifestyle and belief.

Five years later my feet touched the land of Egypt for the first time. Friends back home could not believe I chose to go to a third world, “barbaric” country for my undergraduate studies (the word barbaric was how a Malaysian friend ignorantly described Egypt) when at the same time I was offered a full scholarship to study at a British university. Having been always a skeptic, I wanted to challenge the traditional practice of most people around me who were always aiming for higher education in western countries. Not that I had anything against the west (I was too young to even think about that), I just wanted to be different. After all, “the whole universe is an open book”, so what difference would it make if I explored a less developed region as long as I carried a pure intention to learn? Robert Frost wrote “The Road Not Taken” so he would have agreed with me, perhaps.

My life-changing experience in the “barbaric” nation eventually made me civilised. The multiple encounters I had with people of different backgrounds, ethnicities and nationalities more or less liberated me from many of the bigoted, narrow-minded ideas I used to hold. I had friends from almost every Arab country, America, Europe, South Asia and Africa. The university environment was intellectually stimulating; lecturers and students showed a lot of courage, challenged and debated various fundamental issues in the country and around the globe. Even though facilities were inadequate and economic constraint was evident, the spirit shown by the educated, young generation in the campus was extraordinary. I learnt that questioning a long-held tradition is not always bad. In fact, if coupled with sincerity to find an answer, that can be the very first step towards enlightenment.

The biggest influence on my set of values however were the regular Arabic and Islamic classes I had in a small neighbourhood called Mandara. I soon developed a deeply warm friendship with my Arabic teacher who taught me wisdom and many lessons which changed my view of life and attitude towards the “others” forever. The so-called “Islam” that I was exposed to in my home country was rather different; it was Malay-centric, often interpreted from a narrow perspective, contaminated with myths, cultural practices and superstitions, and sometimes “suited” to a very particular circumstance or to serve a certain interest.

The sessions I had were eye-opening and sometimes even shocking, as they shook the very foundation of my deep-rooted, unexamined thoughts and emotions. Back in school and in society people were always telling me and others that God would be angry if we did this and that. God was synonymous with wrath, fire and torturous punishment. I received the “hell threats” all my life. Upon learning the Quran I found something different. Hell is still real and so is punishment. But God says He is the most loving, compassionate and forgiving. He says that His mercy is all-encompassing, while His punishment is restricted. What I saw among society was the opposite; people often rush to punish everyone for every mistake, and restrict their compassion to a few bunch.

I grew up witnessing selective justice, or justice served mainly when it satisfies the interests of a group. Turning the pages of the Quran, I realised God has a different idea and His idea was much more sophisticated. He tells me to “do justice even if it goes against the interests of myself and my loved ones.” I used to believe that I was entitled to privileges that many others cannot enjoy, but again God corrects me. He says that “everyone will be rewarded on the basis of their efforts” and “each person is entitled to what he has worked for.” I grew up feeling uneasy towards those different from me but God is much wiser. He claims that He has “created humans into tribes and nations so that they get well acquainted with each other.”

I was once troubled by the fact that so many people are not Muslims, but God again has a different impression. He says “let there be no compulsion in religion, for truth stands out clear from error.” It seems God Himself wants men to enjoy freedom of belief, so who am I to impose my values on others? When I was young people used to tell me that those who do not share my belief would go to hell. Well, God still is not impressed with that notion too. He claims in the Holy Book that “it is none of your concern whether He (God) wants to forgive those who do wrong or punish them.” In other words, God does not want me or anyone to put himself in God’s position, thus foolishly passing verdicts on others: who will go to heaven and who will go to hell. This is solely God’s decision and we humans are warned not to interfere.

All the new thoughts gave me a sense of relief and ecstasy. The big burden in my mind had been removed. My conscience was rejuvenated by the verses of God and I realised that He wanted the primordial rules of love, compassion, kindness, justice and equity to govern the world. God also explicitly mentions that we need to “feed the poor, assist the needy, distribute wealth equally and fairly, keep our words, reject arrogance, embrace humility and brotherhood, and do good to others as how God does.” Surprisingly, there was nowhere in God’s book where racism, prejudice, hatred or enmity was promoted, despite their prevalence in many countries and societies and despite the fact that many of those who defend such ideas claim to do so “in the name of God”.

After six years of staying in Egypt, I came back with a refreshed conscience and stronger principles. What God thinks matters more to me than what society dictates, let alone if society is plagued with ignorance and bias. I have become a better citizen, ready to offer my love, serve the public and build the nation. God has clearly communicated His messages to me and everyone else; there is no place for unfounded suspicion, hatred and bigotry. Justice should be upheld even when it means going against our own interests. Wealth distribution must be made fair and opportunities should be equally available to everyone. God loves honesty, integrity and transparency in governance and in all activities; He advocates welfare and generosity; He supports modesty and humbleness; and He emphasizes reading, seeking knowledge and searching for the truth.

Travelling, exploring and learning God’s wisdom have freed my mind from the shackles of misconceptions, ignorance and deception which were deeply held within me for almost two decades. I later had the opportunity to see Europe and other parts of the world. Even though I admit that the multiculturalism and diversity in Europe do have an impact in challenging my previously racist ideas just like how the Quran confronted me, I still have to say that the real liberation happened within the boundary of an impoverished, “barbaric” state (Egypt) and through the pages of a book (the Qur’an).

Other Malaysians must have their own paths and stories of how they finally reach a similar conclusion, but whatever it is, the most important challenge for us now is to rise above all kinds of prejudice, racism, hatred, extremism and enmity. It is time to embrace mutual friendship, respect, generosity, compassion, understanding and cooperation. Let us celebrate our differences and regard them as a potential for nation-building, not a source of discrimination and hostility.

I know it is late, but I still want to wish all Malaysians a Happy Malaysia Day!

*This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.