AUGUST 31 — A few days ago I was at a function where a former minister was the guest of honour.  During her speech, she mentioned a lot of things, one of which was the fact that patriotism seems to flourish around August every year.  It almost gets into a frenzy and then it dies down only to get resurrected the following August.  The said ex-minister also talked about the term “tolerance” and how we as parents, leaders and teachers should teach our children “acceptance” and not tolerance.

How true that statement is.  After 57 years of independence, we still talk about tolerance and we still insist on looking at our differences based on our racial backgrounds rather than the common uniting factor. That we are Malaysians.

Two telco companies recently launched their Merdeka advertisements that were almost identical in their message.  The advertisements played on how we all refer to each other, even complete strangers, as family — Kakak, Aunty, Abang, Annai, Macha, Bro, Tai-Koh, Ah-boy, Aunty and the list goes on.  That is something quintessentially Malaysian.  I don’t see this in any other country.  So it appears that the typical Malaysian regards other Malaysians as family.  It’s really nice.

But in reality does it seem as if this is just an appearance?  What lies on the surface so to speak?  When we look at the news each and every day, we seem to be bombarded with all that is divisive.  Racial divisiveness, religious divisiveness, even division based on our social standing.  Where were our “family values” when we decided that soup kitchens and those it fed should not be allowed to function?  I suppose as long as we call them Makcik, Poh Poh and Paati it still means we care for them as family even if we are not supposed to feed them?

Where are our family values when we have political parties championing causes based on race whilst simultaneously denigrating other races?  Where are our family values when we actually still have race-based parties that are really only interested in serving their own ethnicity.  What happened to the concept of doing what is right for the entire family and not just a favourite child?

Every second day seems to be someone or other making a power play.  Someone or other comes up with racial or religious statements that stoke tension.  Someone or the other is charged for sedition.  Is the concept of criticism so wrong that every dissenting statement is considered seditious?   Relating this back to the family, does it mean that if our children disagree with us we should lock them in their rooms?  We are even so fearful of comments made on social media that we consider banning social media altogether.  So much resource seems to be spent on making sure there is no dissent, resources that can surely be spent on better things.

It is said that values start at home.  By the same token, racism and religious extremism start at home too.  If your children are taught from a very early age to discriminate between others, be it from a racial, religious or even social perspective, then they will never learn acceptance and they will run the risk of turning out to be bigots.  If on the other hand, they are taught to accept each other for their differences and even to celebrate these differences, imagine what kind of people these children will grow up to be. 

I also believe it is our duty as citizens of this great country to speak up when we think that someone has said, or done, something wrong. It is our duty to speak up to effect change and it is also our duty to stand up and applaud when something right is done. Not speaking up is a far worse crime than speaking up for something that you believe in. And it sure beats grumbling in the coffee shop and not doing anything about it.

You may disagree with some of the things I have said.  Heck, you may disagree with everything I have said.  But therein lies the beauty of it.  You are allowed to disagree with my point of view.  At the same time it is my prerogative to say what I want.  You have the right to stand up and say what you want as well. 

So yes, even families have problems.  Things are not always smooth sailing and you get into arguments with your parents, your children, your siblings.  You don’t run away from your family and you don’t just complain about them.  You don’t run away from home and go to your neighbour’s house just because you think they have it better there. You don’t tolerate your family, you accept them for what they are.  You celebrate the good and you try to improve the bad.  You sit down and try to work things out.

And so it is with our extended family of Malaysians and so it is with our country.  Because no matter what anyone says, or may want to say, I am Malaysian.  I have a birth certificate to prove it, an identity card to prove it and a passport to prove it. But more important than these documents, I have a heart that says that I am Malaysian.  I know no other country to call my own.  I love no other country.  This is my country.  I am Malaysian.  Many Malaysians may not be stuck with this country, but Malaysia is certainly stuck with me.

Happy Merdeka!

* This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail Online.