May 3 — Fear gripped my heart the other day when I received a letter marked “Urusan Seri Baginda Paduka”. Oh dear! My experience tells me that any mail that that comes through the courtesy of His Majesty Service can only mean one thing — trouble.

What is it this time? Is it a fine, a summon, or worse? And what a surprise! It was a letter from the Inland Revenue Board (IRB) telling me that I have overpaid my tax the previous year and I now have a credit of RM357. The good news is that I need not even have to apply for the refund. A cheque for that amount was enclosed.

The Inland Revenue Board is one of the most efficient agencies of His Majesty’s government. Last year it collected RM109.09 billion of taxes. This year it is even more optimistic. According to its chief executive office, Dr Mohd Shukor Mahtar, the IRB can collect more by venturing into “hidden resources under the blue ocean strategy”.

So confident of this mysterious deep sea strategy, he said, “The IRB could now detect taxable operations that were not reported...I feel the RM109.09 billion (for last year) is just the tip of the iceberg despite the sluggish economic climate.”

Maybe we it’s high time we also a blue ocean strategy for renting two pandas from China just so we won’t end up feeding these charming animals on China’s behalf for the next ten years.

As we have been told, last year in June, the Malaysian and Chinese governments inked a a diplomatic deal for two panda cubs Feng Yi and Fu Wa to be loaned to the country for 10 years to mark the 40th anniversary of diplomatic ties between the two nations in 2014.

Natural Resources and Environment Minister G. Palanivel said the RM25m privatised panda complex had been completed. Besides boosting the tourism industry for Visit Malaysia Year 2014, Palanivel said the panda deal gave Malaysia the chance to carry out giant panda conservation research, as well as develop and train local talent.

It is also reported that bamboo species have already been grown in a 10ha field in Paya Indah Wetlands Park, while another 6ha field has been identified in Putrajaya Wetlands Park to ensure enough food supply for the next 10 years as pandas feed almost exclusively on bamboo.

The animals were supposed to have arrived but due to the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370 nearly two months ago and has yet to be found. The missing plane carried mainly passengers from China. The delivery date has been postponed indefinitely by China.

The good news is that Malaysia will get to keep the baby of the two giant pandas, Fu Wa and Feng Yi, if they successfully mate in Zoo Negara. The bad news, of course, is that pandas are not known to have been bred successfully in captivity.

More bad news. The panda bill is starting to pile up even before the exotic animals arrive. Under the Supplementary Supply (2013) Bill 2014 tabled at the last sitting of parliament, the government sought an additional RM5.6m in expenditure last year for the giant panda conservation cooperation programme.

Deputy Natural Resources and Environment Minister Dr James Dawos Mamit had to defend the additional funding by saying, “If the two giant pandas produce a baby here, we will get to keep the baby. When the baby reaches three years of age, its parents, Fu Wa and Feng Yi will be sent back to China.”

So what’s this panda-monium all about? To begin with, Malaysia may be getting the shorter end of the panda diplomacy. Malaysia seems to have the singular honour to be about the only country to have to rent the animals and pay for all its upkeep while others get them for free.

In 1957 China presented the then Soviet Union with Ping-Ping, the first panda to be sent abroad as a diplomatic gift. A second panda, An-An, joined Ping-Poing at the Moscow Zoo two years later.

North Korea was even more favoured when its founder Kim Il Sung got five pandas from his Communist friends in China between 1965 and 1980. The US was not left out. After President Richard Nixon made his unprecedented trip to China, the first by a US president, Beijing sent him two pandas, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing – to its National Zoo in Washington.

France got its gift the following year in 1973 when its president, Georges Pompidou visited Beijing. Li-Li died within a year but Yan-Yan lived till 2000. It was a long while later in 2008 that Taiwan’s President Ma Ying-jeou accepted two pandas as relations with Beijing warmed. His anti-China predecessor had turned down a similar offer two years earlier.

It is also curious why the two panda cubs on the way to Malaysia do not have double sounding names like the rest. Ours are strangely named Feng Yi and Fu Wa. Maybe that’s why we are going to have a national competition to give them new names. My suggestion is Cukai-cukai and Sewa sewa. — mysinchew.com

* This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malay Mail Online.