SINGAPORE, April 8 — Madam Manisah Sitri was about to break her Ramadan fast yesterday when the sight of the porridge she was about to eat brought back memories of her late husband Nasiari Sunee.

"I cried, and I called one of my children and asked ‘Do you still remember how your father used to love breaking fast with porridge?’” said the 72-year-old homemaker, as she tearfully recounted his quirk of sprinkling bits of dates in his bowl.

Indeed there was not a dry eye when TODAY visited Mdm Manisah’s house and spoke to her family on Friday afternoon, hours after they had sat through the sentencing hearing of Andrew Gosling, whose actions while in a drunken state led to Nasiari’s death in 2019.

Gosling, an Australian, was jailed for five-and-a-half years for hurling a wine bottle from a condominium seventh-floor lift landing, which struck Nasiari on the head and killed him.

The incident, which happened while the family were having a gathering at Spottiswoode 18 condo, left Mdm Manisah injured as well, as the bottle had ricocheted and hit her shoulder.

While her physical injury may have healed, her emotional wound, and that of her children, remained.

"We have accepted that he’s gone. As Muslims, we believe in fate and destiny,” Mdm Manisah said in Malay.

"But even as time passes, the sadness cannot completely heal. Especially whenever I recall how he’d return from work every afternoon and sit near that door. That’s what always makes me cry uncontrollably.”

To this day whenever she recites a prayer for him, she would pause in disbelief, thinking about how her husband of over four decades was truly no longer around.

His death was felt not just by his family but neighbours as well, she said, as her late husband was very friendly and knew practically every resident in the housing block in Jurong East where the family had lived since 1984.

"When he passed away, a lot of neighbours came by, regardless of race or religion,” she said.

Neighbours made it a point to ask about Mdm Manisah’s wellbeing and the progress of the court case, whenever they bumped into her.

Gosling’s lawyers on Friday had filed an appeal for a lighter sentence.

Ms Nas Suriati Nasiari, 46, the eldest child in the family, said that all the family wants is for Gosling to face the consequences of his action. They leave it to the court to determine what those consequences may be.

Cheerful, well-liked person

For the victim’s family, what is left are just memories of a man who was cheerful, loving and well-liked by those around him.

Nasiari’s children remember their father as someone who loved to joke, yet was wise and someone they could turn to for advice. He was hardly stern, if at all, but had managed to instil strong values among his children and grandchildren.

He had taught them about the importance of family and spending time with their loved ones, with weekly gatherings almost a compulsory routine for them.

"During Ramadan, we really feel his loss, because he would usually lead us for terawih at home,” said the second child in the family, Mr Nas Muhammad Nasta’in Nasiari, 41, referring to the nightly prayer commonly done in congregation during the Muslim fasting month.

They explained that back then, it was a nightly affair done at their parents’ home instead of at the mosque, because their father understood that as working adults, they might not make it in time for congregational prayers at the mosque.

They said that during Ramadan of 2019 (May 6 to June 4), their father had told them that they ought to pray terawih at the mosque the following year and "see if the mosque imam would wait” for them.

What they took as a good-spirited jibe at their tardiness turned out to be a foreshadowing of what was to come. That Ramadan turned out to be their last one spent together as a family as the killer-litter incident happened in August that year.

"At first we thought of it as a joke, but looking back, it was as if he was hinting at us it was our last terawih together,” said Mr Muhammad Nasta’in.

For Mdm Manisah, the first Ramadan without her husband in 2020 — which coincided with the circuit breaker period — was one of the lowest moments she had ever felt.

But still the family pushed on, each in their own ways.

Mdm Manisah spent her time cooking, and preparing extra food for her children gave an added reason for her to see them daily.

For Mr Muhammad Nasta’in, he takes his mother to visit his father’s grave almost every Saturday.

"The least I can do is visit his grave every week… at least it lessens the sense of longing,” he said. — TODAY