FEBRUARY 12 — The Sungai Besar Umno legend is true to form. He raised money yesterday by auctioning a towel and a pair of sandals, marking the closest Gandhian act by a Malaysian politician. Though Jamal Yunos is much more than a politician.

Let’s bring readers up to speed.

Court officials stormed his Ampang Jaya home last month because he owes legal fees which kicked off this episode. He lost a defamation case and paid RM300,000 as ordered by the court in 2022. Unfortunately he did not pay the legal fees, which prompted the raid.

They seized– or detailed 14, depending on which news report to be trusted – items at the residence for an auction at a later date.

Suitably incensed, Jamal declared he’d auction off a pair of sandals to raise the RM66,000 demanded. And by George, he did. Except he added a towel from his infamous visit to the Selangor State government building back in 2016 over a water supply shortage in the state.

On that visit, he wrapped one towel around his waist and draped one over his shoulder. Obviously everyone had one question, what was under the towel?

Anyhow, Jamal has secured the amounts necessary and according to him will pay the plaintiff. That would be Teresa Kok, the veteran DAP Seputeh MP.

It would not be Jamal to just go about paying and leave it be.

He said Kok should rear pigs in her residence with the money. He added, to be incendiary, she cannot do so however unless her property was outside Selangor.

There is a developing kerfuffle about pig farming in Selangor and Jamal being Jamal, which is to say highly unoriginal, dragged in the controversy of the day and hopes Kok nibbles.

Kok has only one recourse in this matter, and it is not to become a swine herder.

She should invite him over for Chinese New Year.

Perhaps all he wanted was an invite, and was hinting at it in a roundabout way.

Wishing his favourite Kok would stand up and say, “No Jamal, I cannot have my dwelling swelling with hogs when the year of the horse is upon us. Say, what are you doing on Tuesday? Swing by my place for some mandarins.”

Rather than have a tired rehash about race relations, nationalism and multiculturalism, I’d rather have Jamal and Kok seated together on the festive day. That would be a great photo op for DAP and Umno in these heated days of hate ‘em till you make it.

He can bring along the two splendid characters who bid for his prized possessions. The Koks can make space for these special individuals. According to Jamal, Negeri Sembilan and Sabah dudes paid equal amounts for the towel and sandals respectively to raise RM66,000.

Actually, why not?

Use the holidays to bring people, even foes together.

If a towel and pair of sandals can rake up RM66,000, Malaysians are likely to throw in a fortune to see Jamal and Kok share tea in a civilised manner.

Jamal is a stage-four lung cancer survivor and showing humility days before Ramadan begins by sitting with his nemesis to fundraise for cancer patients would be a political coup.

I spent yesterday evening walking around the city visiting Peranakan eateries to figure out how to better the race situation with Chinese New Year on my mind.

Since they, the Peranakans, are the Chinese who took the country into their hearts perhaps the answer might be in the ondeh-ondeh or bubur cha cha they gave us.

It perpetually perplexes me that the country cannot navigate a week without asking are Malays at risk or the converse, will the Chinese overwhelm.

And rather than a complex solution involving 15 White papers, small actions can speak with greater sincerity.

I get it. Jamal was not enamoured that authorities poured into his home and treated him like a man too broke to pay a court fee. He is an Umno division chief, a man of means.

But does he also enjoy knowing the lasting memory he has in the hearts of Malaysians is tottering around a government building in his towel? A life cannot just be meme material.

His party and Kok’s party have been in a partnership for three years.

There’s too much history to go back in time and untangle the past. Though there is still enough goodwill for them to walk in the present to a room and take a picture together, since it is Chinese New Year. And by doing so, allow Malaysians to have a glimpse into the future.

And even if all that is gobbledygook, wishy-washy filth, they can still earn a few ringgit for cancer patients. No one walks out of that a loser.

All of this begins if Kok, rather than take Jamal’s pork bait, tries to penetrate his seemingly impregnable world with kindness. And for Jamal to relent to Kok.

I’ll leave that to them then.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.