MARCH 9 — A well-read Scottish food connoisseur — real, not mythical — living in South Korea who has on several occasions been kicked out of Kuala Lumpur B&Bs messaged me belatedly, for he was bewildered about Mahathir Mohamad joining the opposition. How do ex-dictators oppose the system of their own genius?

If young Andy was caught unawares, then anyone can. For Malaysian politics is bewitching and confounding with no rhyme or reason at best of times, and these strange days are far from them.

It is in short, mad.

So, I’ve put together a list to clear up the air, or muck things up further, you decide. As a voter, and talk to others about it.

1. Mahathir is the biggest thing

The ex-prime minister has stayed true to being a maverick through all seasons. A fitting eulogy.

He does not however, contrary to popular belief, retain an umbilical cord to all Malaysians. A grip on our collective psyche.

He will be 92 in July and has not run the country for almost 14 years. George W. Bush was still a first-term president when the obstinate one walked away from Putrajaya.

It is the constant mention of him among those above 35 years old which renders him omniscient, and since middle political leadership members grew up during his administration, they ascribe high influence to his person.

His worth is not star power, but experience to steer all Umno rebels to close ranks with other non-BN factions, avoid three-way fights which pave the way to a new government according to many, which at that point force a leadership purge inside Umno. The fairy-tale concludes with victorious rebels being paraded back to the Umno HQ.

2. Umno to seamlessly reinvent itself

Partisanship aside, Umno has the most successful brand in global politics. For in the game, if it is measured as one, wins decide. They’ve never lost. They may continue to win.

However, gobbledegook analysis of the Barisan Nasional (BN) juggernaut reinventing itself without losing power is fantastical, in any universe.

It is a one-trick pony, but a fool it takes to accuse the strategy of being naïve.

Its strength is its simplicity. Its weakness is its simplicity, for its charm can only be executed in the manner it stands today.

Tip: Trust the realist over the closet idealist in that party.

3. Social media trials will translate to political outcomes

Malaysians are relentless when allowed online. There is nothing above criticism and crassness is the rule rather than the exception. Jokes, not sympathy appear first most often in the aftermath of tragedy.

The mutilations are so humiliating, casual observers may erroneously think that like an enormous reality TV show, over here political change is predicated on LIKE buttons.

They are not.

Keyboard warriors roam freely anonymous, many operating under the false notion that posts are for fun with no real world implications.

Which also means, much of it lacks conviction.

4. DAP is not a chauvinistic party

"First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Was ever a Malaysian party a perfect embodiment of this biblical passage?

Chinese schools, independent education certification, lopsided SMEs and targeting MCA before Umno emphasise the urban party’s true credentials.

It won’t countenance a name change to disassociate from Singapore’s PAP or Chinese parochialism. It does instead insist it is about race parity by repeating it is about race parity. And refers doubters to all its previous statements on race parity.

Surgical appointments and placements of Malay leaders and candidates do not address principle shortcomings, something they readily accuse Umno of reneging on.

5. PKR is a multicultural party

My party has exhibited rainbow-embracing potential, over 17 years.

It might want to live up to it. For numerous have left in disgust over the duration.

Copying the larger BN blueprint into the fabric of the party adopting silos may have been a short-term measure, but nearing two decades, where is the boldness to lift the party away from the pettiness of Malaysia’s past?

It always had leaders explaining why it can’t be progressive than those willing to fall because of their progressive thinking.

The next election might remind the party, it’s not always about sound-bites.

6. PAS understands political stratagem

The religionists are not intent on developing political astuteness.

They are however keen on heaven.

Sixty-five years and without a single grounded policy with details executed to the material benefit of its constituents. You have to admire how they have zero regard to realise people’s aspirations, and every intention to control people’s thoughts.

7. Selangor is on the verge of collapse

There is a sound reason why the very public sacking of the previous mentri besar, failed transfer of power to party president and administration of a second MB have not decimated the governing coalition, the voters are happy.

Unlike emaciated Kelantan or Sabah of the early 1990s, the state is chugging along as a state run by federal opposition.

Because, the majority of voters if unhappy with the economy, would inadvertently blame federal planning rather than state administration.

Which is why, as long as there is enough clarity on seats dynamics for enough contests in the state, PKR will emerge with some variation of coalition with a majority.

8. Education, healthcare and jobs don’t win votes

Thanks to a combination of how survey questions are requested, politicians understand survey results and election results are analysed, politicians undervalue bread and butter issues.

As opposed to the rest of the world, our politicians would like us to believe education, healthcare and jobs are not as important as race priorities, religious evangelism and feudal allegiances.

Unfortunately both sides accept the illogical premise.

9. Three-corner fights are impossible for non-BN parties

Only BN can win three-way contests has been repeated as a mantra for so many decades, an alarming number of politicians live by it.

They spend more time appeasing other "friendly” politicians over appeasing voters.

Votes are more fluid than ever, and if only an experienced and sensible politician can guide the rest to the present.

It’s really the "they are too stupid to know” argument.

10. Being organised won’t overcome sentiments and prejudice

Feelings are important, but elections are snapshots. Organising logistics, clarity of message, multi-channels of engagements and volunteers for instance will affect feelings on voting day.

While so many items are beyond the control of opposition parties, they still have so much influence over organisation, or the state of organisation their parties are in for the elections.

Misconceived

As long as those bent on change remain misconceived about the perceived commandments of the country, their efficacy will be minute.

Perhaps, their biggest contribution to the cause would be to challenge the sacred cows of Malaysian politics.

I did say, it’s all a little bit mad.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.