JULY 3 — Every Ramadan, some non-Muslims would proudly join their fellow Muslims to fast.

For example, there is the annual Fast4Malaysia event where participants across ethnicities and religions are encouraged to fast together for one day to foster "unity” and promote understanding among Malaysians.

Such an initiative might be useful for the curious and its undeniable feel-good factor of communal togetherness, but symbolically it feels like it is no longer relevant in such an Islamised Malaysia. In fact, it feels dishonest.

Unlike in countries where Muslims are the minority, there is little reason to join Muslims in solidarity during Ramadan. Most Muslims are not victims of discrimination, and are free to fast from dawn to sundown. Fasting is a nationwide event, observed by the majority, endorsed and facilitated by the State.

Perhaps nobody feels Ramadan more than those who wish to eat but find themselves unable to do so because Muslim-owned eateries are closed during the day, while others are fully booked almost every day from as early as 6.30pm, well until after 8pm. Even if you do not plan to eat in, there is a fat chance getting a diner that is willing to serve takeaways during that same period.

And what of Muslims who cannot fast? Islamic jurisprudence agrees that menstruating, pregnant, and nursing women are exempted. The sick, the old and travellers are also allowed to skip fasting. In short, not every Muslim fasts. Even if you are an observant adherent, and for many different reasons.

Yet, and yet, in Malaysia these Muslims — even the same ones exempted by their own religion — cannot afford to eat in public, to literally nourish themselves, either by an unspoken taboo or by Shariah law.

A pasar Ramadan where many Muslims buy food for the breaking of fast but not every Muslim fasts during this month -- not because they don’t want to but because they cannot. — Mohd Yusof Mat Isa/MMO

My friend Maryam Lee was a victim of this absurdity this fasting month when she was berated by not only those who worked in the diner, but by the random public who just could not deal with her conscious effort to break this taboo and eat her damn lunch like any other day.

Her recollection of the event went viral, and sparked widespread debate on moral policing and so-called etiquette during Ramadan.

Things went ugly, to put it mildly, as Maryam was accused of intentionally being provocative with a "stunt”, of trying to seek undeserved attention, making up stories, or just being a plain shameless hussy.

The most nauseating comments, however, came from fellow activists and left-leaning contemporaries, who accused her of mere social media activism, and harping on a minor issue when there are bigger issues to tackle.

Which was a shame, because moral policing here is definitely not a minor issue, and even if it is, are minor issues less significant than the major ones? To paraphrase publisher Amir Muhammad in a recent Facebook post: Rosa Parks would disagree.

There are several main arguments levelled against Maryam, most of which completely missed the point. But the biggest one claims that eating in public disrespects the holy month of Ramadan, and is an act devoid of manners and courtesy for other Muslims.

I cannot make this any clearer: Ramadan is a month. And months, in general, do not care if humans disrespect them or not. Because months do not have feelings.

In fact, these Muslims should own up that it is them who feel insulted when others can eat in public. It is them who feel that those who do not fast can only eat in some hidden corner, in shame, like they have committed a crime.

Why are they insulted, you may ask? There are many reasons for this: self-entitlement, insecurity, the urge to impose one’s belief on others, but above all, a feeling of envy that others can indulge when one has to grudgingly fast. All which come from mandated fasting against one’s will.

The issue of etiquette and manners is the most questionable one. How could one act that is completely harmless one day, becomes so maligned on another? And does this mean that other Muslims in countries where public eating during Ramadan is completely allowed, are less well-mannered than Malaysian Muslims?

Just like the excuse of "respecting Ramadan”, the etiquette of Ramadan is another excuse that has been constructed by Malaysian Muslims to impose their privilege and morality in the public sphere, by denigrating those who do not follow such a code.

It is sad how over time this feeling that everybody should "respect Ramadan” just because, has been entrenched and normalised, that even a benign act such as eating in public causes public outrage akin to blasphemy.

Unlike respecting Ramadan, respecting Muslims who fast not only makes more sense, but easier too. CNN senior assignment editor Saeed Ahmed said it the best:

"You can totally eat in front of us... but try not to schedule a work lunch.

"You don’t have to fast with us... but you can join us for iftar.

"We’ll still go for coffee with you... but we may keep our distance. Because halitosis.”

Which brings me back to the start. Fasting Muslims do not need your solidarity. Non-fasting ones do.

Instead of breaking fast together with Muslims, perhaps non-Muslims can have lunch together with their non-fasting friends, and stand together with them against those who would try to demand undeserved respect.

In recent times, Ramadan has become more and more insufferable for those who are not zealous in their faith. Just this year, there was the "kafir harbi” remark by the Pahang mufti, a police report against an interfaith breaking fast, and of course the vitriol against Maryam.

Muslims believe that Satan is chained during Ramadan, and any wickedness by Muslims during the period comes solely from within themselves. It is only apt that Ramadan has peeled back the pretense of the rest of the year to show what we are truly facing: an increasingly Islamised and unsympathetic society.

Our only relief is that Aidilfitri will come in just a few more days. Ramadan, you will not be missed.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.