DEC 25 — Today, Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus. Tradition has it that Mary, Jesus’ mum, was way past her second tri-mester, yet had to travel the 111 kilometres from her hometown Nazareth to her hubby Joseph’s kampung in Bethlehem. That’s roughly the distance from Petaling Jaya to Port Dickson. 

Put a pregnant lady in a BMW to make the journey, she’d complain dah. Put her on a donkey? Yeah. I know, right?

The rest of the story is even more familiar. The couple tries to check in at the Sheraton at Beth, but they’re told only the car park is available. Okay okay. It was a sold-out inn, and Mary had to give birth in a manger (practically a parking lot in ancient times, no?).

So, according to the Christian Bible, the babe who is really the Creator of the Universe incarnate, decides to show up not in the Palace of Golden Horses but the Place of Goats & Horses. The common Christmas theme is that God accepted this arrangement to personify humility. I don’t disagree – but I think there’s another simpler reason: God loves animals and wanted them around when his son was born.

Christmas is for animals, too.


What animals teach us

Newflash: Animals are special. And I’m not talking about bak kut teh.

Want to learn about happiness? Dogs are the boss. Somehow canines can be easily reminded of every reason to rejoice whenever they see loved ones after a period of absence. I leave my house for two hours, I come back, and my dog acts like his football team has won the Champions League. The amazing thing is that he can do this every single day.

In human relationships, such joy and cheer on a regular basis are about as real as vegetarian sharks’ fin soup.

We need to pay thousands of dollars to sit in a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) or “Emotional Intelligence” workshop so an artificially hyped-up dude can tell us that, uh, “Enthusiasm is important when dealing with clients.” No kiddin’, Sherlock.

Want to overcome depression? You can do worse than observing your hamster. Dude’s gonna die young in a cage but does he need a psychiatrist and bags of pills? No. He just lives like a king. He loves his food, and adores his running. And he don’t give a crap if you stare at him and point.

Compared to these guys, we’re total losers. We earn RM5,000 a month? We curse that we don’t have RM6,000. We earn RM60,000 a month? We scheme to earn RM100,000. And each time we can’t achieve our oh-so-precious goals, our happiness gets sucked up like tau foo fah at a Food Challenge. 

Want a tip to reduce stress? Learn from your cat. These drama queens spend 90 per cent of their time lying around and 10 per cent ripping the heads of mice. “Oh that was your sofa I just scratched? Sue me.” Like most animals, cats consider simply “being there” a great thing. Breathing is a luxury to be grateful for every half-second. Makan time? Heaven by the bowl-ful.

I can just hear the birds whispering to each other: What’s WRONG with these two-legged apes, with their obsession with their bodies, their cars and their God-forsaken hair-dos?! 

Is Malaysia “going to the dogs”? Don’t smear our dogs. Did our junior military envoy to Wellington behave “like an animal”? Don’t insult animals.

Every other day you get a cool story in Facebook about a dog doing some stuff that makes you wonder if angels can walk on four legs. Rescue a baby, save a blind man from a bus, lie next to his master’s grave. If Christmas is at all about that crazy lil’ thing called love, then animals embody it in a one-of-a-kind way.

What animals can never do

What do we most despise about the corporate world? Everybody now… the lies and the deception. Guess what, this is exactly what the animal world can never be guilty of.

Horses can’t pretend to be tired because they want to go lepak-ing with their other vaping pals. Birds aren’t scheming to destroy your reputation by blaming a messed-up budget on you. And your fish aren’t gossiping about what a lousy aquarium keeper you are because of all the shitty hardened sand they’re forced to eat.

Absolute humility and total you-get-what-you-see-ness. 

There’s something else they can’t do very well: Defend themselves. Watch Meet Your Meat on YouTube and there’s a good chance you’ll be a vegetarian. Humans are the most cruel slaughterers in the universe. Animals are by far the worst victims – and the most innocent.

If you know the Christmas story, you’ll also be aware that “Mary’s boy-child” would, about 30 years later, go willingly to his death. The Bible describes his sacrifice for humanity as being “like a lamb led to the slaughter.” There was something tenderly and peacefully “animal-like” about the Christian story of salvation which, again, suggests something special about our non-human creaturely friends on earth.

Animals can be a reminder of how Nature can be mankind’s friend. They exude beauty, openness, care, a being-there-ness. They remind us that maybe our planet isn’t such a dangerous place after all. Heck, there may even be so much joy, that we can see heaven and Nature sing.

* This article is dedicated to a friend who passed away two nights before Christmas. I cannot recall anyone who exuded as much kindness and patience as her. It was from her that I first got the idea that Christmas is a celebration for animals, too.

** This is the personal opinion of the columnist.