AUG 10 — If you flicked through any European telephone directory and selected a number to dial at random at any time over the next couple of weeks, there’s a good chance that whoever you call won’t be at home.

August means the great European getaway, with families and workers across the continent taking advantage of end of school term and the outbreak of summer sunshine to head away on their annual holidays — whilst simultaneously cursing the ability of airlines and hotels to exploit their captive market by cynically doubling or tripling their usual prices.

The most conspicuous holidaymakers are the British, for many of whom August means a cheap flight to the hot and sunny coastlines of purpose-built resorts in Spain, France, Greece, Cyprus or the small islands of the Canaries or the Balearics.

It also means a riot of beer, beer and more beer, with a few more beers thrown in for good measure, washed down by a distinctly un-Continental diet of chips, pies, curries and full English breakfasts (bacon, sausage eggs, beans, mushrooms and fried bread).

Large swathes of Europe are effectively turned into an extension of Britain, with mile after mile of seafront adorned with British or Irish pubs and cheap, cheerful restaurants and glitzy or seedy (or both) nightclubs.

Menus are displayed in English; staff speak flawless English; the clientele are exclusively holidaymakers; English-language music is played on the jukeboxes and “live” British sport is shown on the televisions.

People visit the San Lorenzo beach in Gijon, north of Spain, August 6, 2014. — Reuters pic

Any contact with indigenous culture is reduced to an occasional bold menu choice of a half-hearted paella or locally caught fish, with the overall experience essentially akin to being back in Blighty… but with sun guaranteed.

Some of the most extreme examples can be found on the sun-kissed islands of Tenerife, Majorca and in towns along the Spanish Costa del Sol such as Marbella and Torremolinos. Holidaying in these areas is a unique experience and must be somewhat alienating for any other nationalities who happen to stumble across these drunken and red-faced Brit-fests.

All of this is a reasonably recent development, of course. In the past, summer holidays meant a bus or train ride for a few days of relatively genteel break at the nearest seaside resort — such as Margate or Brighton in the south, Blackpool or Whitby in the north.

But since the 1960s, the proliferation of newly available cheap flights, the liberalisation of society’s norms (making public displays of drunkenness and promiscuity largely acceptable) and a rapid growth in disposable income has created a sea change in British holiday habits — a second wave of colonialism if you like, with the distinction that this particular invasion only lasts for a few weeks every year.

British holidaymakers might offer the most visible example of European summer revelry, but they are joined — largely in a more measured manner — by fellow sunseekers all over the continent.

A couple of thousand miles to the east, indeed, something similar can be witnessed in Bulgaria, where wealthy Russian tourists flock to resorts along the Black Sea — which is, I hope, a lot more welcoming than it sounds.

The far more appropriately named Sunny Beach (Slânchev Bryag in Bulgarian) is a particularly popular destination and has been even more crowded than usual this week after the collapse of a Russian travel company left thousands of tourists stranded and desperately searching for any available hotel rooms and return flights.

Others opt for city breaks, with the cosmopolitan centres of London, Paris, Barcelona and Rome attracting huge numbers of sightseeing visitors — for the economies of those cities it’s just as well, because the majority of locals are nowhere to be seen as they take a summer break away from urban living.

On the whole, France remains the most popular destination in Europe, attracting a staggering 83 million visitors in 2012. Many of those head straight to Paris with its galleries, museums, shopping and history, but the sheer variety of France’s attractions explain its top ranking.

From Monte Carlo for super-wealthy preening, the wild waves of the Atlantic coast for surfing, quiet inland hilltop villages for peace and quiet or the Alps for a mountain escape from the summer heat, France has got the lot.

France can also, perhaps, provide a scaled-down illustration of why Europe is such a great place for holidays. It is small enough to travel around easily but large enough to provide breathing space; transport links are good; hotels and restaurants are plentiful; spectacular scenery abounds, and culture and history are available in spades for those who want it.

Although France encapsulates those qualities better than any other country, the same is true if you expand the scale to cover the whole of Europe.

Whether you’re attracted to modern Bulgarian resorts in the east, rugged Irish coastlines in the west, bright Mediterranean colours in the south, gravity defying Norwegian fjords in the north or dramatic mountain ranges in the middle, Europe has something for everyone, all relatively accessible and with culture, cuisine and history thrown in.

And if none of that appeals, you can always join the beer-swilling Brits in Magaluf.

*This is the personal opinion of the columnist.