KUALA LUMPUR, May 24 — “I can’t be the spokesperson for every single cause,” said Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir who has been linked to issues like HIV/AIDS, women’s rights, freedom of speech, and minority rights, among others.  

The prominent social activist, who is also the eldest child of former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, receives requests for speaking engagements every day, even as she is busy with Muslim women’s rights NGO Sisters in Islam (SIS) and the informal group Malaysians for Malaysia group.

Not to mention her own projects, like her website called Zafigo that provides tips for women travelling in Asia and in the Middle East on safety, what to wear in conservative countries and customs that affect women.

Marina, who has three children aged 28, 27 and 15, confesses that it’s a little overwhelming sometimes and she feels like she’s being pulled in different directions as everyone seems to want a piece of her... to the point that people think that if she doesn’t talk about their cause, no one will listen.

The 57-year-old, who recently spoke up about the Rohingya refugees stranded at sea, uses Facebook and Twitter to educate people on human rights, but her Instagram account is closed and is a strict “no-politics zone.”

“I just like pretty pictures,” Marina says. She follows photographers, travellers, fashion and jewellery brands, and even celebrities like Beyonce and Victoria Beckham on Instagram.

Despite her prominence, the activist who was named UN Person of the Year in 2010 is down-to-earth and obliges two young girls and a woman who want to take photographs with her after our interview at a cafe in Bangsar.

Marina’s diffidence also surfaces as she mulls whether to do a third compilation of her columns as her publisher recently suggested, wondering out loud: “Is that all I’m capable of doing?” She says she would like to write a book one day.

Here, Marina talks about conservative Islam and the roll back of Muslim women’s rights and how difficult it is to be kind.

In her own words:

It won’t kill you if somebody has a different opinion than yours.

It’s hard to be kind nowadays. I always find this mentality — I call it the George Bush syndrome — “Either you’re with us or against us. You’re not on my side; I don’t approve of it.” It’s this crazy mentality. Drives me nuts.

I feel like there needs to be a great cosmic bucket of ice water poured over all of us. Everyone will come to their senses and wake up...This is not normal times. I just feel like everything’s abnormal. You can’t talk normally. Normal things are seen as weird; this thing about being kind is not normal, being unkind is normal.

“Jangan jaga tepi kain orang.” This is a very prevalent attitude. Generally it means don’t poke your nose into people’s privacy, that sort of thing. But it’s now translated into “Don’t do anything even if you see harm”, which is not what it was meant to be. ‘“Jangan jaga” means all these khalwat squads and peeping toms.

Parents spend all our time being paranoid… My older daughter, when she was younger, go out must give warning, don’t leave your drink, call us, like that. Then this little one, only 15, we have to warn her about Internet. These kids think they’re so savvy lah, but I guess there are very real fears which my parents didn’t have to deal with when I was young.

In 1984, we had the best Muslim family laws in the world — it protected women’s rights. It was really good and the model for everyone else. Since then, tinkering with it, we have lost those rights and we don’t even know… Simple thing about polygamy — before, can only do it if it’s just and necessary. Then they changed one word — “and” to “or.” Just or necessary. So now they just use the “necessary” — “I have to, takut terlanjur nanti. It’s necessary, I don’t want to commit a sin.” They play on the guilt of the first wife — “You’ll be allowing me to commit sin.” Can you imagine?

This conservatism comes from fear. If you toe the line, it’s safe. All these guys who are supposed to be in leadership positions, the ulamak, they’re saying, “This is how you must think.” It’s safer to toe the line because we’ve learned many times if you deviate a bit, everyone will try to shame you. It’s a matter of safety in numbers.

All these politicians, fighting each other, can you all go get a room and then we all just carry on with life? I think we can actually run ourselves without them. Go lah. Maybe have a special WWF for them, put them in the ring, okay go ahead, Pacquiao, Mayweather, go ahead.

As a Muslim, you should always be the person that people feel safe with. And that’s the formula for peace, right? Obviously there’s no room for conflict if your aim in life is to be the person that people feel safe with... We complain that it’s a stereotype but at the same time we don’t do anything to change that. We’re constantly being angry, we’re constantly feeling insulted.

I think I’m a lot more spiritual than people give me credit for, just because I don’t fit the stereotype. Mind you, a lot of non-Muslims also think I don’t fit the stereotype, so they make assumptions as well — “She can’t be a good Muslim lah, she doesn’t cover her head.” The conservatives and the non-Muslims think the same way. You don’t get to judge what I do. We all get our accounts book which we all will be accounted for eventually by the great accountant in the sky. That’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter to me what people think. I’m not harming people.