PARIS, Dec 19 — From getting fit to eating healthy to finding a new job, the new year is often a time for new resolutions. An American survey looked specifically at the case of parents, and top of their list of personal goals is to be more patient with their children.

Between homework, school pick-ups and drop-offs, meals, tantrums and other defiant behaviours, many parents end the year at their wits’ end.

They’re far from alone, of course, but some of them seem to want to take advantage of the New Year to change their approach to parenting, so that they can tackle the next 12 months more calmly.

So suggest the findings of a survey of over 2,000 adult parents with at least one child aged 0-18 living with them, shared by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Michigan.

Still, parents haven’t waited for December 31 to make changes, with almost three quarters reporting that they make resolutions or set personal goals throughout the year, including at New Year’s for a quarter of respondents.

In detail, almost one mother in two (47 per cent) and more than one father in three (35 per cent) say they have made these kinds of resolutions as a way to change their behaviour towards their children.

Nearly three quarters of those who set these kinds of parenting goals (74 per cent) do so to become better parents, while an overwhelming majority (85 per cent) believe it can serve as a model for teaching children to set and achieve one or more goals.

So, what kinds of resolutions are parents making, and can these really be sustained over time?

Patience is the ultimate virtue

Contrary to what you might think, the resolution most cited by respondents did not concern a concrete measure, such as putting their children to bed earlier, playing with them more, or simply cooking healthier meals.

The top resolution is to be more patient with them, according to 78 per cent of parents who have set these kinds of goals. This is followed by spending less time on their phone (56 per cent) and being more consistent with discipline (47 per cent).

Parents have also made resolutions regarding the health of the family as a whole.

In this respect, some want to get healthier for their child (52 per cent), provide healthier meals and snacks (48 per cent) or even exercise with their offspring (37 per cent) — with mothers being more inclined to set themselves such objectives (55 per cent versus 38 per cent of fathers for healthier meals, and 41 per cent versus 30 per cent for exercise).

A third of parents who have set goals relating to parenting (34 per cent) want to involve their children more in spiritual activities, while 21 per cent want to get more involved at their child’s school.

"Our poll suggests that parents often focus on areas they’d like to improve in their parenting approach, including being more engaged, focusing on their own and their child’s health, and supporting their child’s connection to the broader community.

Setting goals to improve parenting can help parents define their values and priorities and have positive effects on the health and well-being of the whole family,” said Mott Poll co-director, Sarah Clark, in a statement.

Kids have goals too

But parents aren’t the only ones setting themselves personal goals — or so they claim. More than half of those surveyed (53 per cent) say their child or teenager, aged 11 to 18, has set these kinds of goals. And it’s clear that these resolutions are far removed from their parents’.

According to the adults surveyed, their children seek above all to do well at school (68 per cent), succeed at an activity (52 per cent), exercise (43 per cent), earn money (40 per cent), change their eating habits (40 per cent), or try something new (39 per cent).

If they really do set themselves these goals, children can count on their parents’ support, whether by celebrating their attempts at improvement (70 per cent), by joining their efforts (58 per cent), by helping them track their progress (52 per cent) or via financial support (51 per cent).

"Goal-setting helps kids learn to be accountable for their actions and develop a growth mindset.

Parents modeling goal setting can also teach kids the importance of working toward something and learning from mistakes along the way,” advises Sarah Clark.

She also highlights the importance of not aiming too high, and of setting these resolutions over time. "We all know how commonly people set New Year resolutions that fade as the year goes on.

If families are serious about sticking to resolutions, it’s essential to set specific and realistic targets and schedule time to take necessary steps to reach them.” In other words, you might need to put that newfound patience into practice. — ETX Studio