SINGAPORE, Feb 12 — For Shiva Raj, it was love at first sight back in 2010. It was an ordinary Monday morning at the primary school where he was teaching. He had gone to the pantry to get some coffee, just like any other day.

Except this time, he was greeted by a slim Chinese girl who had alabaster skin, rosy cheeks, and soft long hair. She was a new teacher, fresh out of the National Institute of Education, and she was stunning.

At least, to him, joked Genevieve Wijaya, the object of Raj’s affections.

“It’s funny, in school, I always bun up my hair, wear specs and make sure I go without make-up,” said Wijaya, 28.

“I don’t know exactly what he saw!

“He did tell me he tried to get my attention but I was always doing my own thing and I wasn’t interested in the people around me. We didn’t talk for many years. I just thought he was very quiet and good-looking.”

Wijaya thought nothing of their friendship until Raj arranged for a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her desk on Valentine’s Day.

A week later, after they celebrated his birthday by going to Johor Bahru to pump petrol (unconventional much?), they decided to officially commit to a relationship.

Serendipity had also helped another couple, Muhd Farhan Dzulkafli and Hilwa Razali, strike up a romance.

When Farhan was a 17-year-old polytechnic student, he first spotted Hilwa under his block and had casually thought it would be nice to have someone like her as his girlfriend.

Two years later, Farhan spotted her again at the library at Woodlands Civic Centre, giving tuition. His friend dared him to get her number, so he slipped a note with his number into her pencil case.

Once she was home, Hilwa chanced upon the note. It read: “Hello! I’ve seen you around before, around the Woodlands area. You’re from IJC (Innova Junior College) right? Have a nice day. P.S: If you find this offensive, feel free to throw this note away.”

Curious, she texted him, and found out that they both attended Si Ling Primary School. And that, as Rick said in Casablanca, was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Because they have a shared interest in travel, they head out once every three to four months, to places such as Vietnam, Australia, Thailand and Indonesia.

“It’s enjoying each other’s company that makes us confident that, okay, this is the one, and you don’t have to keep on searching,” said Hilwa.

But the pair did not take the plunge immediately, taking more than seven years to get married.

“Dating is different from living with each other under one roof. Travelling is just the good side of a relationship, but we need to know each other better,” she added.

“We also felt that before we take any step further, it’s important for us to be financially ready.”

The pair, now 28, have been happily married for a year and a half, and have a newborn.

Keeping the flame alive

But there’s more to love than romantic gestures. Both couples say the secret to their relationship is communication — lots of it.

To be sure, Raj and Wijaya were the unlikeliest of couplings. He was reserved, wasn’t particularly inclined towards animals, and has never had a girlfriend. She was a vocal and vivacious “chilli padi”, with a penchant for large dogs.

While her parents were fully supportive of their relationship, Raj’s mother, who is Chinese, took some convincing, he admitted.

“I have not been in any relationship before this, so it took some time for her to consider and accept it. But even then, it wasn’t an unpleasant experience, it just took a bit of time,” he said, adding that his mother has since warmed up to her.

“Like all couples we will have our problems,” said Wijaya. “And being how spoilt I was, I could be quite difficult to deal with. But he talks to me a lot, and he doesn’t argue with me or raise his voice. He will just sit and talk, sometimes for hours. I’m convinced he is the only one who can accept me for who I am.”

Conversely, she serves as a perfect counterpoint to Raj’s mellow nature. “He’s forgiving ... because I sometimes speak without thinking and it can be insensitive to his culture. But instead of getting offended, he would explain things to me and allow me to learn more,” she said, adding that her family have dubbed him as “the lioness tamer”.

Although being together is important, for Hilwa and Farhan, giving each other “alone time” is also crucial. “When she needs her ‘me time’ and time with friends, I would tell her to go ahead,” said Farhan. “I don’t really restrict her ... I trust her to do the right thing.”

Similarly, Hilwa has no objections when Farhan wishes to go travelling with friends or do his own thing.

“I think having our personal space will make our relationship better. And then when we come back to each other, we will feel that the bond is even greater,” she said.

On stressful days, Farhan would cheer her up with a good meal or ice cream, or send her a bouquet of flowers. He would also leave post-its for her at random places, telling her how much he loves her. She started doing the same for him as well.

While they have different personalities — he is more quiet, content to stay at home or doing solitary activities, while she is more sociable and enjoys going out to places with crowds — the couple said that is not important. What’s important is both of them have common interests and shared values.

For one, they care about their relationships and make time to interact with each other’s families, she added. “With a son, a lot of things have changed as well, but at the end of the day, it’s how we manage each other’s expectations.”

“I love her strength and willpower,” said Farhan. “Between work and family, I don’t know how she balances everything. She’s my Wonder Woman.”

For Valentine’s Day, they’ll be staying in because Hilwa is still on confinement. So they will be watching Netflix with their son Rayyan Ilhan — which is just what they enjoy, said Hilwa.

“We don’t really buy each other very expensive gifts. It’s the thought that counts. We are not the type that go out for a movie date or spend money for a lavish dinner,” she added. Quality time, she said, is better than quantity.

Raj and Wijaya say their relationship is still as exciting as ever, with marriage on the cards sometime in the future.

“There’s no boredom at all. We run together and we have the same interests so we are busy with the same things, such as voluntary and community work,” said Wijaya, who is a grassroots leader.

What might be boring to some thrills the both of them, such as staying at home and cooking for each other. That is what they would be doing on Valentine’s Day this year, they said.

“I see Valentine’s Day as a day that reminds us we should appreciate each other,” said Wijaya. “It’s not every day that you get this sort of reminder that is so heavily emphasized.”

But spending lavishly is not their way, said the self-professed fuss-free couple. “I don’t see any point in going out to eat. But if we were to find recipes together and cook together, that would be more fun,” she said.

“We behave like we are 50-years-old,” she laughed. “If that is the definition of boring then so be it, we are boring. What’s most important is we find each other entertaining.” — TODAY