GEORGE TOWN, July 6 — There’s a certain red-bereted auntie in town who has become as infamous for her, shall we say rather curt behaviour to her customers, as she is famous for her Penang char kuey teow.

Madam Soon probably requires no introduction as she has been frying noodles for over 40 years and been written about umpteen times, either in praise for her char kuey teow or in condemnation for her unbelievable rudeness.

Lorong Selamat’s famous char kuey teow was a bit dry.

She has apparently been known to tell people off for requesting “mai see haam” (no cockles) or extra chilli, for example.

And woe betide anyone who objects to her prices; a plate will set you back some RM7 to RM8, more during festive seasons, as it comes with several large prawns plonked on top.

(Personally I prefer smaller shrimps; large ones are rather jilak-making.) If you don’t want to eat there, many others are prepared to do so.

I was therefore loathe to put myself in a position where a  char kuey teow seller can berate me; after all, I am the one who’s paying to enjoy the fruits of her labour.

Canny Penang folk know of other places where you can get cheaper noodles which are just as good, if not better, and where you aren’t subjected to such unorthodox behaviour.

However, a KL cousin, who makes it his life’s ambition to eat there every time he is up here, insisted on taking me there recently; it was quite an eye-opener what out-of-towners are prepared to put up with just for a plate of our famous CKT.

As to be expected, the small Heng Huat kopitiam at the Macalister Road end of Lorong Selamat was packed, but after a short wait we were lucky enough to secure a small corner table to ourselves.

Cuz headed off to place our order; needless to say the coward in me didn’t dare risk asking for no see haam. The ais kacang was good — it came quite quickly, and was quite tasty and refreshing.

Disappointingly though, the plate of CKT, when it finally arrived after 20 minutes didn’t look particularly appetising, and in fact, though fairly fragrant, tasted rather dry.

This could have been for two reasons: in response to the large hungry crowd all eagerly awaiting their orders, the noodles are fried in bulk. A bit is then pulled up at a time for each plateful to be given a final touch.

Or it could be that the plate was not produced by the sifu herself, but by her sous chef, so to speak; a youngish man stationed across from her who is obviously being groomed to take over or assist her during peak times. Methinks he can do with a bit more training, but the KL lot lapped it up like manna from heaven, and even ordered more.

Ke Ai exhorts you to try her home-made bak hu. — Picture by Helen Ong

Whilst you are waiting though, there is home-grown entertainment to keep you amused. Ke Ai (Cutie), as she prefers to be called, is the jovial rotund lass in her mid-50s who sells her home-made bak hu there during the day.

She has garnered quite a following for her humorous, off-the-cuff rhyming ditties, aka bak hu rap, reeling them off as she makes her rounds offering diners free samples of the salty-sweet pork floss.

A quick search online reveals several YouTube appearances as well as mentions in local press and publications; she has even given recitals at the annual George Town Festival. Start her off with a few words and, quick as a button, she will take over with her own brand of Hokkien pantun:

“Chiak wa ey bak hu,

Become more beautifoo!”

She exhorts them (eat my bak hu, become more beautiful), and

“Bak hu chey chey,

na jiak nah ho say”

(The bak hu is crispy, the more you eat, the better it gets!)

Kafe Heng Huat is at 108 Lorong Selamat, Penang.

Ke Ai: 016-494-1406.

Ke Ai also sells at Jalan Gurdwara.

Kafe Heng Huat in Lorong Selamat.