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Covering up stewardesses won't stop plane crashes

DECEMBER 13 ― I propose a ban on certain subjects from ever being brought up in the Dewan e.g. sitting members' menstrual cycles, Malaysia Book of Records and what our stewardesses are wearing.

Someone has apparently been calling for “shariah-compliant” uniforms for stewardesses.

One, there is no such thing as “shariah-compliant.” It is a made-up term that is nonsensical and theologically problematic.

Two, can hamsapness in general just be banned from the Dewan? Seriously-lah, if instead of work, you're fixated on what stewardesses are wearing when you're on business trips, you should be banned from airplanes. Forever.

Cabin crew are just that ― cabin crew. Poor souls who not only have to look presentable even when jetlagged and cooped up in a cramped metal bird, but have to babysit a whole plane of passengers.

There is nothing glamorous about serving in the skies ― it's long hours, filled with not-fun menial tasks. I mean, how have they not gone nuts doing the safety announcement as many times as they do? Are they saints?

I personally would have set the plane or a passenger on fire if I had to do the safety announcement more than five times in my life, seeing as how I can barely sit through one without tuning out (I read the safety booklet and memorise exits without fail each time I fly, so shh).

The nonsensical assumption that God punishes airlines who don't follow God's rules are ridiculous. Again, it's theologically problematic and unsound. Plenty of women who do not dress immodestly are raped ― as are senior citizens, children and the physically and mentally challenged.

That's enough proof that modest clothing does not deter or hinder rape. Let's not forget the high incidence of rape in Saudi where women aren't allowed to walk around uncovered in the first place.

Our politicians should be kept busy with other things instead of stewardess uniforms. If their eyes roam to improper locations, it's not the stewardesses who need to be censured.

On that note it's time society gets with the 21st century and properly educate men on the need to keep their eyes and hands to appropriate places. No touching, no looking, no unasked for wardrobe suggestions.

At this point, I think we should just come up with a hamsap test all elected reps must take before serving. Anyone who fails should not be allowed to serve, end of story.

Then maybe we'll have MPs who show up to talk about their jobs instead of air hostess' bodies.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.

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