AUGUST 16 — Enid Marks Martinez, my mother, is 100 years old today, the 16th of August, 2020.

That is a long time to experience life, to learn lessons and gain wisdom and to pass it on.

It would be helpful perhaps to share her wisdom with fellow Malaysians and in gratitude for her.

My mother endured much suffering during her life but also enjoyed God’s blessings and those of humanity around her.

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She was orphaned at seven, together with her two younger siblings Joan and Mary.

They were placed in an orphanage, later lived with a relative in Kuala Lumpur and then “adopted” by the nuns of the Holy Infant Jesus Order (IJ nuns) who educated them until they left to live as adults.

During World War II, because she had a British father, my mother was hidden by the nuns at the convent in Balik Pulau, Penang where she lived on the upper floors for more than two years – never seeing much sunlight. Her siblings fared worse: they were interred in a concentration camp.

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Yet, amid the dreadful stories of suffering, she also told us about a Japanese officer who would demand to be let into the chapel at the convent.

Although terrified that he would desecrate the place, the nuns let him in. Only to see him kneeling before the altar, and praying, sometimes in tears.

So, first lesson: Not all enemies are bad or wicked. There are good ones among the worst of us. Have compassion.

After the war was over, my mother studied to be certified as what was then known as a Normal Class Teacher: the best teaching qualification then apart from university.

She did that against considerable societal norms, when having passed “The Senior Cambridge” (if at all), most women did genteel jobs and looked to marry.

So, second lesson: An education is paramount, as is a woman’s independence. “You will always stand on your own feet and be independent and you do that through education,” she would say to us.

Although we devoured books of fairy tales, she would remind us, “in reality, no prince is coming to save you and live happily ever after.”

She married late to a planter in Sitiawan, Perak and that was where we lived and were raised on a rubber plantation owned by Harrisons and Crosfield.

My mother learned to speak fluent Tamil, and practised driving in a two ton lorry for her licence (methinks my father did not want her to practise in his precious car.)

There were few schools for female children in the 50s in most smaller towns. Most were only for males or were co-educational.

In 1953, the IJ nuns asked my mother if she would start the Our Lady’s Convent primary school in Sitiawan. (Malay parents who wanted an English education for their girls sent them to the school when it started.)

Despite our having to live in Sitiawan and away from my father at the estate during the week, my mother agreed.

Gratitude and service motivated her, she said, for these qualities from others gave her a life.

So, third lesson: Service is also gratitude to humanity. It is incumbent upon us.

Mrs Enid Martinez, principal, had to start the school from land the nuns bought. She did it alone as the IJ nuns were based in Ipoh.

I remember my mother had problems getting contractors as Sitiawan (and the Dindings district then, now named Manjung) was a Protestant stronghold.

After watching a woman with a cangkul (hoe) clearing land, the contractors came forward. During those early years, she had a baby who was still-born but she never stopped building up the school.

Our Lady’s Convent became government aided in 1956. Mrs Martinez was principal, teacher, clerk and office-boy. It was a challenge.

So, fourth lesson: “.. and this will pass..” That one endures, one stays strong and stays the course no matter the obstacles or suffering. Because bad times or suffering are never forever.

This lesson has seen me through much in life, as she consoles me most with those words up until recently.

The convent principal built up the school in innovative ways. This included taking in boys from the La Salle Brother’s school across the road (which had no secondary section) in 1960 and 1961 until they completed Form Five in the convent’s secondary school.

This not only helped a B/brother school but also for the convent school to get funding to build a science laboratory, a library and more buildings all of which came with having a secondary school as well.

I can just imagine what it took for my mother to convince the nuns in Ipoh to have BOYS in the convent! But they were later phased out and the school remains an all-girls’ school.

Our Lady’s Convent thrived and used to place first often in government examinations for the district. When much-needed teachers were posted from elsewhere in Perak, my mother taught us to share our small house with them to ensure they stayed on.

So, fifth lesson: GO FOR IT! Think outside the norm, don’t be afraid to try especially if it serves a greater good.

In those years as the first principal and building up the school until her retirement in 1975, Enid Marks Martinez also started the first Red Cross after the Ipoh Chapter visited and was its Dindings head.

She was a member of the Board of Visitors of the District Hospital located in Lumut. She and my father were what was then known as a “Returning Officer” in Sitiawan during national elections and she got involved in many out-reach organisations.

Again, service to others was a driving force.

All this although her life and ours was sometimes a roller coaster of our fortunes. At times very comfortable, and at times, she struggled financially as my father made some bad investments and was swindled.

She even sold coconut candy during recess to help see me through university!

So, sixth lesson: As she had always told us when demanding good manners and respect for all, “Money is not the same as having ‘class’; or being respectable.” My mother practised what she preached. And had such humility.

After her retirement in 1975 and moving to Petaling Jaya as none of us were studying or working in Perak, my mother worked as a kindergarten teacher.

At 70, she took part in the Malay Mail Big Walk!

She was for many years the head of the large Sunday School at St Francis Xavier Church – the Jesuit parish on Jalan Gasing.

She then trained in counselling and volunteered until almost 80 at the Emmaus Counselling Centre in the same church, which provides free counselling to all.

Again, serving others was a priority, especially after my father died in 1987.

Conclusion

My mother was not a saint. I do remember her flaws too. But her amazing life experiences meant that she did – as we all can or should – learn from them, however painful or joyful.

And that service, caring and sharing were paramount.

My mother is now very frail – well, 100 years have taken their toll. She coped with slowly losing her sight years ago, with such fortitude and patience.

It has been very difficult to write this piece as a daughter for whom she is my only role model of being a strong woman.

But it would be selfish not to share her wisdom, for the gratitude I feel towards her and for her as our mother.

(I appreciate input of historical data and critique from my siblings Margaret, Anne and Paul Martinez).

* Dr Patricia Martinez reads the Malay Mail.

** This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.