JUNE 18 — Dear Mahathir Mohamad and Anwar Ibrahim,

Neither of you would like to read a letter demonising both of you, so I figured, maybe I’d let the Malaysian people read it. Since they live your absurdities.

It might surprise you, but the rakyat know about your three-decade old rivalry. It’s not poetic but we weren’t allowed to look away. Poor us.

It just blows my mind, Hollywood has not asked for the movie rights. Though the complexities require more of a miniseries treatment. Casting would be a nightmare.

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It’s not hard to understand the frosty relationship. One of you sent the other to hell. I’m not religious, but I reckon sacked as deputy prime minister, axed as Umno deputy president, punched in custody and spending six years in prison is a good simulation of purgatory, at least, I’d imagine. I leave the definitions to the theologically inclined.

The other you was vilified as Pharaoh by the incarcerated leader’s supporters as world opinion turned against the tormentor in chief. While you the senior man got to retire near the horses, golf course and lake with boats, the great Asian statesman tag eluded you. Anwar’s plight made you appear petty and not a small bit undemocratic.

So out went the opportunity to be seated at the table with Gandhi, Nehru, Rizal, Sukarno or even Uncle Ho.  

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As much as the Malaysian masses were conditioned to worship you through the process of omission, rewrites and media suppression, you do not possess charismatic idealism. Which is why the appeal ended at our borders, and Anwar’s pain sullied your international legacy.

That’s the early years of the acrimony.

But what have both of you done since not being prime minister or deputy prime minister till 2018?

Mahathir, you never wanted to accept emeritus positions — Petronas, Proton and the rest — as rewards and enjoy tea in the Swiss Alps at their wellness clinics. Instead it was snipe, snipe, snipe.

Anwar, they joke about the record number of by-elections related to you and other manoeuvres to get you to the PM position. Discussions, negotiations and trade-offs are always in motion to keep you front of the queue to be PM.

Then both of you decided to join forces to end Najib Razak’s time in office.

Expectation grew. From saying hi to each other in court to sending the more sensible women in your lives — wives and daughters — to bring the “Great Peace.”

Except, one of you was in prison which meant by default the other became leader. Which made it the “Uneasy Peace.”

Congratulations to both of you for your roles in the 2018 victory. Was it Zidane’s headbutt or Buffon’s brilliance over seven matches and the penalty shootout? Who knows? France lost and Italy won in 2006.

I know the football analogy might be lost on both of you. I was having fun. BN lost, PAS did not win, Borneo did its bit, and Pakatan Harapan crossed the line and formed a government. Yay!

Just like football, luck makes all the difference. And neither of you can discount Lady Luck was smiling on Pakatan.

Speaking of ladies, Wan Azizah became your deputy, Mahathir. Maybe because she was PKR president and maybe it was your cheeky way to contribute to pub quizzes around the world. Name please which husband-wife pairing both served as DPM but never as PM?

The animosity through the two years were not surprising, it was the elaborate effort to state all was fine between you which rankled Malaysians. Did we really need to have two heavyweights on the same side baiting each other on who mattered more? Could it be, the Malaysian people mattered more?

One felt no one can ever govern as well as him, and the other felt he had waited too long for his turn.

Something had to give, as the pretenders took advantage of the rancour to map their own ascents.

Pakatan forgot its objective to govern but instead filled up time and effort to force encourage a needless power transfer during a time it was stupid vulnerable. First time government after 61years of the same meant performance first. Sharing the spoils only matters if you have the spoils.

I don’t have to tell you this. Both of you had cumulatively 45 years in that previous government.

But no, younger you thought apply pressure long enough and then older you will step aside.

So, in a hissy fit, the nonagenarian resigns only to want the job back in four days. Anwar out-diva-ed for the first time ever — well at least as long as the Malaysian public can remember.

Since then we’ve been in this rut. It’s clearer by the day who’s with Pakatan, but it’s not clear at all which one of you gets to lead. Or that if an agreement was reached on leadership, that agreement would stand scrutiny.

Where would that leave the people who want to topple Perikatan Nasional?

Bloody annoyed. Sorry, that had to come out.

Fact.

There’s only one game and that is to win federal government. As you see by the collapse of Kedah, Perak, Melaka and Johor, and the swirling rumours about Sabah and Negeri Sembilan. In this system, being prime minister decides the future.

Pakatan is at the risk of being a maturing coalition to a rudderless vehicle reeking of incompetence inside one calendar year.

Both your parties bleed.

One of you claims to still lead a party. But even if you lead the party despite the Registrar of Society’s (ROS) humble opinion that you don’t, the “fake” party chief in your mind is the prime minister. Does that remind you of 1987?

The other, unsure of how much of the party is still under his control, let alone the MPs.

If it’s a marathon, you are at the risk of being also-rans having an argument standing at a drinking station when fighting tooth and nail with each other. While the race is ongoing.

Every day of uncertainty reduces both your political relevance. At some juncture, Malaysians will decide both of you are beyond repair.

At that point they will realise there’s nothing else to pin their hopes on, if they prefer Pakatan.

Or if there is a Pakatan still.

It’s useless to ask you both to sit down and talk. It goes round and round.

One of you has to give up wanting to lead and prefer consciously to support the other.

Just has to happen. Otherwise, the media will find more meaning in writing your separate political obituaries rather than cover your next philosophical musings press conference on how much further in not deciding both of you have managed.

 *This is the personal opinion of the columnist.