OCTOBER 29 — Babies abandoned inside garbage bins or thrown into rivers and drains. Foetuses left in toilets, chicken coops, out in the open or, sigh, even buried. Baby dumping is one of the saddest and sickest crimes in our country (see Note 1).
Some argue that the #1 (if not the only) way to stop this atrocious practice is for religious authorities to quit policing and criminalising fornication.
The key argument is that baby dumping occurs because, given the taboo cum crime against pre-marital sex, a newborn is essentially proof of a crime. As such, many (usually young) mums dump their babies as a way of “getting rid of the evidence.”
However, the argument that de-criminalising “illicit” sex is the only way to stop baby dumping rings somewhat hollow. It ignores so many factors such as poverty, poor education, bad parenting, Internet porn, etc. all of which can play a part in infant abandonment.
In other words, the fear of sexual/parental illegitimacy is just one variable here and removing that fear (by, say, making illicit sex no longer a felony of sorts) won’t take us very far.
In fact, if we do not address the other issues, making illicit sex “okay” may just aggravate the problem.
At present, I’m guessing that one reason why the number isn’t higher is because many young people still refrain from intercourse until after marriage (whether they feel like it or not). Prevention, as opposed to a cure, still appears the best solution.
My point is, I suspect, babies will still be in danger of being disposed of if couples do not have the intention of raising children. And marriage is, for better or worse, usually the best way to secure those intentions.
Very importantly, I’m not questioning the morality of sex outside of marriage. My point is more statistical in nature.
I am arguing that a deep commitment between two people towards sharing a life together and a desire to start a family (a “marriage” for those with institution issues) makes it far less likely that their newborn children will be discarded.
Children will be abandoned if they are not loved (duh). The probability of their being loved is higher if their parents love each other; one predictor or sign of this parental love is a willingness to commit to each other for life (again, whilst this does not demand institutional marriage, it usually entails it).
Children, when conceived, should be conceived in love. And love loves what it makes and longs to take care of them, see them grow up and be all they can be; in the case of sexual love, the product is children and there’s no better option for children to be cared for than within a family.
In light of this, the best way to stop baby-dumping is to encourage people to want the very life they could be creating via their love-making. In my view, marriage is a huge indicator of that want.
Note 1: The statistics show that Selangor leads the way in terms of number of reported baby abandonment cases; being the richest and most “progressive” of the lot isn’t always a great thing.
*This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
